Corrupt-a-Wish

[Wafflem]

I've seen this topic in many other forums, and I'm thinking we could play it here.

Basically, what you do is make a wish, then the next person has to grant that wish, but in a negative way. For example:

User 1: I wish I had a huge kitchen with robotic chefs.
User 2: Granted, but those robotic chefs will glitch up and mess up your meals.

Here we go!

I wish Tricky 26 "I have a cunning plan" would be easier with a lower release rate.

[Mariachi Skeletron Prime]

The release rate becomes fixed at one.

I wish that Tricky 2, Taxing 30 and Mayhem 11 didn't exist.

[Minim]

Whatever you say boss; The levels from Tricky 2 - Taxing 30 - Mayhem 11 have been deleted. A total of 70 levels.

I wish I could cut my fingernails with a knife.

[exit]

You're now playing russian roulette.

I wish that lemmings weren't so stupid and careless.

[Minim]

OK, I decided to lock them up in a chicken coop so that they can't get out let alone do anything stupid and careless.

I wish I could style my lemmings hair.

[NaOH]

You now work in a sweatshop assembling toys for Sony.

I wish I could type without my fingers getting cold.

[Prob Lem]

Congratulations, your keyboard is now on fire.

I wish I could find better scissor sharpeners for my sewing box.

[Wafflem]

Everything else in your sewing box is traded for the scissor sharpeners.

I wish I caught all 721 Pokemon.

[Prob Lem]

You do, but since they're wild animals who are not best pleased about being imprisoned in ping pong balls, they promptly devour you.

I wish I could see a Grue.

[exit]

You now live with a very starved Grue.

I wish that I was a vigintillionaire(10^63).

[namida]

You are, but only in North Korean currency.

I wish there was a Subway store right next to my house.

[Prob Lem]

There is! You're now free to buy a train station of your very own!

I wish there were a few more Lemmings-like games.

[namida]

Granted, but they're all made by either EA Games or Ubisoft. And only on Xbox One.

I wish there was a Lemmings TV show.

[Prob Lem]

You get your wish, but it's about these guys, and not our Lemmings.

I wish for noodles.

[Wafflem]

You get noodles...the kind that helps you float in swimming pools!

I wish I had the power to teleport.