you all know the drill...
"The little Lemmings went to...
...tumble_weed, because he was spamming... ;D
then T_W petted their heads.
Which they thought was quite...
interesting, and so they threw
there arms right after it.
The new lack of arms
caused heavily problems with the
effectiveness of their exploits. Then
...Andi added some smilies. :D Everyone....
waited for mention of streetlights. {EOS}
None came. All were glad.
Lemmy gave it a kick. This
caused it to mega-multiply. "What?"...
But then a streetlight appeared. {EOS}
lemmy said "i've tasted better"...
O_o O_o(as in, " i've tasted better streetlights"
after eating a poisoned streetlight. {EOS}
Since it was poisoned, he
...lost 5HP for every step...
and eventually got to -10.
He turned green and puked.
And then he died. However,
...he had earned a 1-Up...
so it was possible for
him to die once only.
But his brother was very...
wicked and took the 1-up.
This caused Lemmy to fart. {EOS}
"Oh my god!" said Lemmy.
Then his god appeared. Andi...
showed Lemmy a video of
"How to piss 'a-specific-person' off".
Then, Lemmy pissed someone off.
it worked.4 lightbulbs said
: "No more bad words, please!"
Bad word armies attacked IceEagle. {EOS}
Lemmy just sat and watched.
Bill Gates mutated to a/an
Monster who hunted for Linux.
Meanwhile, the badwords PWNED IceEagle.
Lemmy became The Slayer. This
meant nothing when he mined. {EOS}
Tux ran over Lemmy. "Help!"
(BTW, Tux is the linux penguin)
Lemmy screamed, and fell through
. IceEagle came here and said:
"Is it possible to stop this story and pass it to another one? It's not a story, it's DEATH!!!"
(No really. From now on, let's not make bad happenings to other members, especially when it's death.)
In a way you are right. But it's fun. :D
[I never make bad things happen to other members. Just Lemmy. Lemmy is not a member of this forum, as far as I know. Lemmy is a character in the story, so he can die and have horrible things happen to him, right? :P]
a trap door. It was
the portal to "Save Me."
But "Save Me" didn't exist...
so he had to go
somewhere else instead. He went
to "We All Fall Down."
Lemmy had no digger skill,...
so he passed by cheating.
He cracked up about it.
Then someone shackled that...Lemmy!
Quote from: Ice_Eagle91 link=1089129620/45#55 date=1090029230Then someone shackled that...Lemmy!
huh?
Lemmy got PWN'd by Lemeri...
which gave him an allergy.
Lem'ka attempted to kill Lemeri...
[How many times do I have to say this? Stop making other people do things!]
which worked. Blood everywhere. Then...
Lemeri, being of the undying,
could not die. Lemmy killed
[Edit - I thought Lemeri wrote Lemmy :P]
the great dragon Igackdl'tark, a
a fearsome black wyrm t'was.
(a a fearsome black wyrm t'was? That's not sense!)
"A a" is really nonsense.
It really stinks a lot.
It stinks cause Lemmmy farted.
Lemmy noticed a black hole.
He promptly stuck his head...
in it and suddenly he
shouted: "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!" Then he coughed.
Then 2+2 changed to Sharks. {EOS}
So a band of frost...
giants threw stones at Lemmy.
A man named broken Khree...
broke Lemmy's leg. Lemmy hated
the evil monk for the
broken limb. He roared loudly.
"Shut it!" Khree bellowed, and
slapped Lemmy across the face.
Lemmy didn't like that. "I'm...
getting angry at you, Khree!"
said a broken hose bottle.
"What are you doing here?"
a retarded chicken asked Lemmy.
Lemmy killed it wrathfully, then
Obould-who-was Gruumsh killed
Lemmy, but he once again
returned, to live again. CAPTAIN-
he was cut off. Lemmy
wished for some red bones.
They strangled Lemmy. The end...
...would most likely never come.
A blue dragon came and...
turned into a red dragon. {EOS}
It shot out blue flames...
which made the flowers growing.
This is the 1000th post in this forum!
:party: :party: :party: :party: :party:
Then it's party time! WOHOO!!!
"This is my dog," said
a robot called Bob. He...
through the dog towards Lemmy.
Lemmy stomped on the dog.
With a sickening crack, it
exploded, and out of it...
crawled a battered and torn
Lemming. It was the evil...
Lemkoo! All were horrified! And
soon dead. This was sad.
very sad.several pickles said,
"Eat me! EEEAAAAT MEEEE!" and
they got their pathetic wish.
"That was good" Garl remarked.
"Very good indeed!" Then they...
started to jump around in
paper sacks full of water.
And a fluid container! EEW!!!
But none prevailed. So instead,
they swam to the bottomless...
(Louise...is that avatar...really you?)
pool of magma. This made...
quite an impression. Nobody knew...
(Ice_Eagle...no it isn't...why the dot-dot-dots? It's one I found on google, and looks weird anyway because the forum put it out of shape! I'll eventually have a better one up, when I get/make/find one.)
what a Synracan'scraton was, so
Everyone still enjoyed Gothcon 04.
there was much confused frustration.
"Frools!" the Synracan'scraton cried "I-
am dying today!" they were
bemused by a color. It
sparkled oddly and hypnotised them.
"Wha-" the Synracan'scraton wondered. Then
it died in a heap.
There was a party. Everyone
wore black and screamed insults.
Pieces of dust moved 0.000000000000000000000175".
This annoyed people. They gunned
They were centimetres from oblivion. {EOS}
That doesn't work, Steaver.
down everyone in site. Then
We must have posted at the same time.
If you swap the order, it works fine.
little green people down. But
they also returned to live
again. This made even more
sense once they saw that
they were really annoying us!
So the police stopped the
car that was exploding
from hitting the fence. But
several drawers fell out of
the trunk, in which was
lots and lots of cash
"Hey!" the police yelled, and
killed a bee that got
cought in their guns. The
guns then turned into honey.
honey tastes sweet so several
dogs ate the guns. The
dim radioactive slugde pickle
killed the driver and the
steering wheel turned on it's
Z axis. This weirded a
Quote from: dumb_lem link=1089129620/150#154 date=1090810357dim radioactive slugde pickle
Dumb_lem, that was four words!
lot of people. They mutated...
pickle out of his mind
and into a little grape.
That ate a shelf in
the Mediterranian sea. "Tasty!" said...
so they sold it. it
("Tasty!" said so they sold it on? Dumb_lem! Please modify your last post!)
sold badly. very badly. stock
it all on a lot...
is very poor advice. Nobody
likes a zombie, except for
...necrophiliacs, whose attraction scares me.
They like them too much.
But one day a Zombie
stalked out of a cupboard
in the house of a
rich man. He did not
kill Saablic Tan that day.
He killed him later. The
red wizard died. Later that
day, the forgotten zombie did
not take a shower. He
smelled like a lemming. WEIRD!
But that wasn't half of
the smell. That half smells...
much worse. But never mind,
the retarded chickens will survive. {EOS}
Except for the atom bomb.
Which, of course, is not
being built for that purpose,
But it caused a global
nuclear fallout that killed them.
Why? Because DeadLemming2004 tampered it.
Alas, it killed him also.
Or would have, but he
executed a daring backwards leap.
Into the stasis chamber. So
he was frozen in time.
And so was Xan Kriegor.
Mortimer McMire mocked them. Then
Xan killed McMire after breaking
the speed limit. Sirens squaked,
and a car ran over
a Lemming crossing the street.
The driver jumped out, and
got bloodshed. Blue blood came
pouring out from under the
edge of the sofa. Everyone
was fascinated by it. They
started to laugh at the
bleeding driver, who saw a...
...brand new Ford Fiesta idling...
the bleeding driver. But then...
he realised it was too
much trouble to save himself.
So he decided to suicide.
//edit: OMG! What a scary story! XD
He failed, so the law
arrested him. For 90 years...
he rotted in prison. Then
he became an ancient fossil. A0;:P
He was dug up millions
of seconds later. They threw
pitch on his grave until
his decaying skeleton emerged from
the ashes of success. Bunnies
bit the heads of many
small and strange looking frogs.
edit by admin
Watch your words!
The dead man staggered off.
He soon got bloodshed! Whoa!
Then he fell in a
hole full of korma. Then...
He died. For real now.
A zombie-who-is-so-ugly-and-repulsive-as-an-olive-that-everyone-died appeared and killed...
(That's five words, okay?)
That's not really 5 words, but anyway....
...the first one he saw.
(Yes it is! Due to the use of hyphen, that's five words. Btw, it's That's, not That'.)
The one he killed was...
Ooops. ;P But we shouldn't use that hyphen-stuff.
... the minister of glory. He
then ate a slimy donut. ;P
The conversation turned ugly. The
stories turned ugly, too. ;P Then...
the 'Lemmings Universe(/Forums)' crew decided
to make the discussion board...
looking more like a beautiful
place to discuss lots of...
social issues involving retarded chickens....
, streetlights, donuts, chain-posters, stories, and...
selfdestructing bridges over acid rivers. {EOS}
And game-over screens that we...
would always see G3K getting. {EOS}
One from Sonic Advance, one...
...which hated cliches a lot...
, one from Eye Toy: Groove,
(You know that game, don't you?)
and one from Fury 3x.
The worst of the lot.
In the museum were game-over...
signs that said that there
are people who are very...
dedicated to their work. Masses
of game-over-screens were very magnificent.
Eventually the people grew tired
of the five word story.
So they held a public
execution, and blood flowed everywhere.
Then Ynmel licked all blood... ;P
off the stage, and a
cow tried to smell Ynmel.
The public killed them both.
But then Starfox and Zelda...
had a dreadful feast with
the remains of the deceased.
"These remians suck" Starfox declared.
"Food and blood!" he added.
"The food of kings!" They
chorused, slamming their mugs down.
So then they all left.
The corpses of the dead
were piled high that day.
And banners flew from turrets
then flew into Zelda's face.
Zelda fell off the turret.
Then she broke all of...
the bones in her body.
"Euyuch!" she exclaimed. "I'm squishy!"
Then she became a jellyfish.
She got caught and eaten
by a ravenous purple squid.
It was the end. A
Vorticon Mothership loomed over the
Earth, and rained death, in
large quantities of uranium. Unfortunately,
the planet blew up, killing
all lifeforms residing upon it.
"Your time is done, primates!"
said a Pokemon named Rayquaza.
Who was really a Doppleganger,
and throttled the being known
as Harley 'The Mag-GOT' Johnson,
the meanest one on Earth.
They partied on his grave.
But then the ghost killed
them, ripping apart many of
their flesh, spleen, ribs, heart,
and discovered the lungs were
very stinky as a boot.
A talking meat loaf killed
a ketchup bottle, which resulted
to weird, gross stuff that
kicked the rat that ate
the organs on the dirt.
And the blood cakes. YUCK!!!!!
Then Jimmy McLemming came and
swept them all away. Rain
...poured down for a minute...
, and when it was gone,
there was only grim desolation.
Someone made "Oblivion Xtreme", which...
hurt like anything. The surviving
lemmings have lots of forgetfulness.
A mad car driver died.
He died of a disease.
He died in the mud.
A mud of oblivion, that
engulfed his soul in evil.
He was a virus now.
Hated and feared by all.
His name was Dr. Robotnik.
Sonic The Hedgehog destoyed him.
And Tails and Knuckles, too.
Tails and Knuckles were destroyed.
They couldn't hide glittery puddings.
The puddings were made from
The bodies of dead lemmings.
And Tails and Knuckles, too.
Some Nali ate it. It
tasted like korma. Then Nali
they also died. it was
a horrible experience to see.
people cheered for the tragedy.
Except a girl named Hecate.
who was walking backwards to
absorb sorrow and pain from
a post off between ice_eagle
(DUMB LEM!!!!)
. So then Hecate used magic
(whaddid i do?)
to destroy the sith.they
(You put my name in the story. Please! No members in the story!)
laughed at Hecate for doing
this was supposed to be like the magic wars and lemmings story,
three vercingetorixs marched to troy
(This is the 5 word story, not the magic wars or lemmings story!)
. Hecate then absorbed pain and
(oops) X_X
three castles fell at once.
Then Hecate got squished and
(yer fast)
all the people bought carbon
(you too! ;))
monoxide containers, then suddenly died. :D
(tanx)
the carbon was poisoned so
(Thanks, too!)
then Hecate was revived, because
yer welc
the people were afraid because
(You too! :D :D :D)
of Hecate, who used magic
tanx
the people hated magic for
(You're welcome! That's enough, okay! A0;:D)
the ugliest fairies on earth.
k
the fairies flew to mars.
But then they all died.
cheaters didn't like that so
they all revived the fairies.
and they came back from
came back from mars, so
people rejoiced by eating slugs
They tasted like Earthworm Jim. :D
The people died of it.
Earthworm Jim fell and splatted.
Then Overall man Mario appeared.
And he fell and splatted,
And his overalls were soon
covered with his own blood.
His head was smashed like
a bowl of eggs. The
spleen, heart, brain, eyes, ribs,
are the same. The brain
however, was lookin' really odd.
A couple of guys bought
a sharpened, metal trowel to
dig in the stinkiest ground.
Overall Man Mario became undead.
And he terrorized the public.
By using his ugly overalls,
to trip them up, and
force them to wear them.
Commander keen showed up, and
ripped out Mario's ugly overalls. :D ;P
"Die, Captain Keen!" Mario sneered.
But then Mario farted loud.
He crushed Commander Keen's face.
Then he kissed his overalls.
Then the story left Mario,
who kissed his overalls everytime.
A big 'ol pie fell
on his overalls. Then a
Semi truck hit him. Bang.
KABOOM!!! Then Luigi appeared and
died horrible. They buried him.
And his ugly overalls, too.
Then they dug a grave.
A grave of Mario's overalls.
For Mario's overalls, that is.
The ghost of Mario's overalls
Left the house of Jack.
Then entered a nerd's house.
Then the sewer man fell
on Luigi's overalls. He puked.
He got the dry heaves.
But then he smashed them.
But that act proved fatal.
It was very, very fatal.
Then Sonic the Hedgehog resigned.
And Miles "Tails" Prower too.
And Knuckles, the feindish dog.
And Shadow the Hedgehog, too.
There was a bloodbath, and
everyone got soaked in blood.
This scared a bunch of
the lemmings that are mellow.
And yellow. They drank blood.
With cocktails. And Martinis. And
the poop of Shrek. Really!
( :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D)
Well, not actually. It was
a bunch of stinky overalls.
Taken from Mario's corpse. But
the overalls smelled like iguanas.
The iguanas smelt like mint.
But not for very long.
They all *beep*ing blew up.
"Really?" asked George W. Bush.
Then a Lemming crossed the
line for tastefulness and logic.
But that lemming sniffed milk.
A piece of dirt died.
but really was never alive
Therefore the dirt was undead.
The dirt got cast in
A thimble that was magical. (um......don't ask)
It was enchanted to make
a plague sweep the world.
It killed every single being.
And good riddance to them.
They all sucked. But one
such Lemming foresaw his own
death, and walked the land
before the cataclysm. The Lemming
soon was dead. His ghost
founded a club for evil
vampires who all voted to
hang him from the yardarm.
The highest one, of course.
And they did it, too.
Then they had a party.
They got drunk on fine
imported Russian booze. Vodka and
other such things. They also
Danced, for they had 600
hours of nightlife before them.
They emptied their clips, and
sprayed some more lead. Then
all ate deviled ham. It
was such vile slop that
shot it full of lead, untill
the whisky bottles broke and
stabbed itself on the top.
The whisky leaked everywhere, including
the slimiest salad dressing from
Venezuela. The Venezuelens were angry
, so they shouted "You'll pay!"
"Do you accept credit cards?"
"No, I'm sorry. We don't"
"Oblivion express, sir," snarled the
Lemfatal. Her hair suddenly changed
into murderous lizards. It strangled
the credit cards. Soon everyone
was rolling in mud, like
the fifteen giant bouncing aardvarks.
The ants all died of fear.
A new type of life
appeared. They were called post-its.
The Post-its ate all the
pencils. The world was ruined.
But then, cheapie pens appeared!
The pens kissed the teachers.
The students fainted. The principal
just ate a red hotdog.
Suddenly, a talking head rolled
through the open doorway. He
shouted in a great voice
"I will rule the world!!
It fell in the stew.
This caused quite a stir.
A stir which smells gross.
Gross like a cave-man's armpit.
Nemesis and Penance were monsters,
monsters that smelled like trolls.
Zhokkleberry-flavoured shit rained from clouds.
(Censor that word!)
"You broke the rules!" someone
burped, while smelling someone's farts.
It was really, really disgusting.
The losers lost. G3K smelled.
He smelled only 12%. So
the other 88% was arses...
Someone cleaned him, but then
the arses still smelled 88%.
Louise has created a monster. O_O
It shall destroy all who
fail either English OR Maths.
And those who defy it.
Including the one and only...
atomic super-droid, who in turn
helped people's mums with housework.
Then murdered them slowly, cruelly.
The losers lost. Again. However,
that means nothing to reasonable
numbers of selfish/retarded people from
(Note that selfish/retarded counts as one word due to slash! :P)
a wide variety of inhospitable
hospitals. "Right", Lemmy whispered to....
a big can of wood.
Then he took a fall.
Into the deepest, darkest despair.
Sadly, he never did recover.
Until he found a goldfish...
that showed him the secrets
of Advanced Sweeping. "Interesting idea,"
but not as good as
some I've heard," sneered Lemmy.
Lem'ka bought "Shit On Toast"...
at 'The Salad Bowl' cafe.
"But there are the extraminancelus!"
Fat Mother opened the door.
"OMG! It's all messed up!"
said a retarded chicken. "Oh...
I see you own smeggalinas!
Which was a lie. Theives
sacked Rome in 400 AD. A0; A0;O_o
They loped away with the
last remaining roman standard.
Centuries later, this was a
environmentally friendly shampoo bottle, which...
was a detriment to all.
Suddenly, a gigantic atomic core
imploded near a little-known planet,
...causing many a corrupted savestate.
This placed Fox at Corneria.
(darn it!)
A competition was being held,
that had people try to...
hurl spears at living targets.
Everyone was a terrible shot.
Some even impaled themselves, so
Frederick Barbarossa led teutonic knights...
around the pits of slaughter.
everyone but slippy laughed. Frederick Barbarossa
had a self destruct sequence.
it didn't work.staples hopped
Over a pit and missed.
It was a gruesome death.
Then all ants killed themselves.
None were greatly saddened, therefore
2247 species of hymonepteran insects
were destroyed by legions of
nuclear forks. This caused mass...
hysteria among the decimated population.
Popular sovereignty ensued. This was
poorly recieved. The angry mob
hurt it self during the rebellion.
Thousands died one bloody night.
The fish eventually dominated earth.
This led to a rebellion.
Control went to the squirrels. X_X
They abused their power. Nothing
ate the tomato, so it...
Savage Night Creatures invaded earth.
imploded gruesomely, raining gore everywhere.
They imposed martial law, decreeing
That Charles II did not...
have mercy for petty criminals.
"BEWARE OF THE FEET". This
was emblazoned upon the hull
of the Pheonician quadrareme. Ghosts......
rended their victim's souls so
that the Phoenician empire revived.
And then it fell forever
. This was good for Italy.
Unfortunately, someone started the nuclear
toximbom, which ended in stalemate.
The sun imploded, casually snuffing
half the known universe out.
Smilies attacked nothingness :devil: :devil:
Then they managed to take
down Baron Manfred Von Richtofen.
Then someone looked up Goatse...
and ate the reply button!!! O_o
Of your remote control to
Bob's house. The dynamite exploded
and took the top half
of his head clean off.
Blood and gore spurted everywhere.
"DOWN WITH THE WORLD!" A
mutated lemming cried. Mole rats
were eating Sartor. Keanor fell!!!
"Surprise..." a Darkfriend laughed into
a box of donuts. The.........
The donut box ate him.
Shortly after, they were chased...
into a hole full of
the tortured dead. Bizarre monstrosities
ate Malon. They were applauded.
The wombat of Seville kicked
the ICBM, which caused explosion!
Explosions cause rubble. Rubbles causes
Death and Suffocation, this causes
carnage; food for the vultures. :D
There were excessive man-eating donuts.
But the men ate donuts.
So Finland made more donuts,
and so did Saudi Arabia
which turned very bright blue
then pink, black, and red
. There were too many Arbalests.
And quite a few trebuchets.
Which is also why parrots
are called budgies. A parrot/budgie
ate the trebuchets from before!
[My 50th post! :party: ]
The odd lack of trebuchets
...opened up a niche for...
the Korean Market to sell
...nuclear homing parrots to the ...
the teutonic knights! Oh no!
A n00b appeared. He/she liked...
...hyphenating words to sneak extra...
cookies into the glass jar.
Seiko was amazed to find
mutated parrots clawing at the
D sign of the shirt
that had donuts. Too many...
traces of deadly poison in
The bottle of juice caused
the unlamented, untimely death of
Bob. His family was devestated.
A wolf ate thirty five
pigs, then thirty five donuts.
He discovered he prefered donuts.
So thats it? someone asked
Bob. "Actually yes"
He replied. A sign read
"This Sign has sharp edges!"
"Oh bother it!!!" said sd;ljasd;fj.
Sd;ljasd;fj is a computer program
(I hate those wierd and unusual names Timballisto. :mikeundecided:)
that calculates several thousand equations.
It malfunctioned magnificently, destroying gigabytes
, this formed gigabugs, which was
harmful to the database. Meanwhile
it eroded the cybernetic memory
. "Does that even exist?" said
John, who was with his
chicken at the time. When
the chicken bit its leg
the bird experienced sudden death.
This greatly upset John, who
had to fund the funeral.
John hung himself because of
this. He had no funeral.
The third funeral was a
bad one. The dead guy
didn't stay dead, although It's
undead hand attempted to throttle
a nearby child, who just
first thought. It was ununununundead
wrote a note to his
pet Rabbit, who was staying
at the funeral. The zombie
was not as undead as
which apparently further reduced its
undeadiness. It then became undeadly
to the box store. "BAD!"
said the Manager, who swiftly
removed the undead guy. Then
a restraining order was placed
on the dead guy. He
Killed the computer. Graphics Adaptors
took over the world, after
all. These were dark times
for the people of Nomsyville.
They had to eat peanuts.
Their cats ate their dogs
and their dogs ate rocks!
Thankfully, the dogs choked fatally.
This caused an extreme shortage
of cat food. The cats
started eating other animals, until
they ate poisonous snakes. That
stunted their population growth, with
that, they rebelled. The dictator
was overthrown, and replaced by
a democracy. The elections made
good use of Postal Ballots.
But not good enough! The
Postal man went Postal and
posted all his complaints to
the nearest post office box.
The post was sorted into
Two boxes; Spam, and Trash.
The spam was burned, the
trash was incinerated, and this
caused an angry face appearance.
>=(
The Smiley was alarmed at
its own appearance! It changed.
8 |
This didn't affect reality, however.
There were still countless varieties
of superb automatic weapons, relentlessly
fired at poor criminals as
they attempted ducks and rolls.
They didn't survive that attack
and the terrorist threat was
eliminated. Long life to the
Lower class population. They discovered
imperfect cloning methods, creating such
flies that had the ability
to devour flesh, reforming into
a civilization, the flies began
Cloning more, and Rudolph was
considered to be some kind
of large chicken. This was
very bad for the higher
order of slugs. They decided
to give him the death.
This was an unattainable target
as cats like to annoy
the much younger generation of
hamsters. The hamsters ate rocks.
This formed an ancient dust.
It fell in clouds upon
the last day. Millions died.
There was no more left.
And thus it was declared
that dogs should eat monkeys
only on the Feast of
the Mad Hermit. Without doubt,
this was catastrophic. Unknown forces
Tried to taint the touch
(That not too many T's is it? ;P )
of the elven hamburger stand.
(yeah, just one too many T's)
This resulted in The Force
(Tee Hee :D)
getting scrambled up. "Oh no!"
said a nerby impressionist. "Stop
removing garage barriers!" said Jimmy.
Suddenly Jimmy got hurt by
a mysterious green rat, who
ate other mysterious green rats.
Shortly after, there were only
two left. They fought to
eat the moldy cheese of
Scrumpy Downs, who is angry
over the mess Qixzii, his
one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple people
eater. This was a tuna
fish of great power, it
began to conquer the world.
However, it couldn't take Tibet
because he always rolled ones.
^_^
His opponent always rolled sixes.
The muffin rolled a seven?
, which is impossible. something exploded
outside Outer Outingham. "Ouch" he
said as he banged his
little brother against the wall.
EDIT: I've just changed "on" to "against". Nothing special.
That left some gooey green
volatile substance, which then changed
into a rich man who
ate five pies, which contained
the deadly Chemical X. This
made more pies. The public
got a lifetime supply of
pies. "TOO MANY PIES!!!!!!" shouted
The Mayor, who had just
eaten a large blueberry pie.
A chicken was in disguise.
The chicken was eaten by
a rather large bird. Flies
were made by the clouds.
These clouds, made from tiny
water droplets, rained. Rain's good!
Said a purple frog. Cats
ate the purple frogs. Grating
cheese damages your arteries. There
are many ways in which
platypusses can eat falling beans.
(story summary coming up)
(I can't get it to work and I'm NOT doing a summary completely by hand! Maybe someone who's a better programmer can isolate all the posts.)
"Want some magic beans? They're
very tasty." Said a lady
to an inexperienced young boy.
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?" said the boy. Dirt
realised that it was treated
like itself. Something died horribly
during that experiment, and many
dirt grains weeped for eternity.
Suddenly there was a huge
earthquake, measuring 9.6 on the
Richter scale. Millions died of
weirdness poisoning, which is why
you must always carry syringes
to inject into bricks. Heavy
Armoury can also have this
(WOOHOO!:party: Crack open the Champagne, I've reached the big 500! :D)
technical problem in paint 2.
(Imagine that. A0;Paint 2? A0;(laughing))
Cream cheese attacked people's sandwiches
Quote from: guest link=1089129620/780#782 date=1124841335(story summary coming up)
Quote from: guest link=1089129620/780#783 date=1124844051(I can't get it to work and I'm NOT doing a summary completely by hand! Maybe someone who's a better programmer can isolate all the posts.)
(I think a decent summary of this is 'Randomness'. ;P)
and was defeated by mustard
. This caused a catsup uprisal
which made too many bukcets.
"That's 'Buckets'" Mustard corrected, "you
freaking moron!" Well then we
exploded. Instantly a cow transofogipolliwogamushified
into a bull, it became
a really, really confused bull
who had eaten a pig.
Pigs hate pork pies because
they could be eating their
own bodies, which tasted weird.
Was this worse than cannibalism?
Well, no. It's roughly the
equivalent of a bad hamburger.
And so, comforted by that
the pigs started eating themselves.
They weren't all that smart.
Lord Voldemort arrived and ate
stupidity. He became stupid. "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh..."
Harry Potter laughed out loud.
Some person got a cold.
That person was Draco Malfoy.
He held a contest of
who could drown the fastest.
The contestants were: Professor Snape,
Some other Dude, and a
bright purple cow called Fhqwhgads.
Obviously, Fhqwhgads won, and so
He tripped over himself happily!
Snape was really angry, so
he decided to go on
and trap Fhqwhgads. Unfortunately, he
Stumbled across a mine field.
His head a splode. Many
ugly boys had appeared. Suddenly,
someone made hot chocolate which
was rather hot and chocolatey
and smothered with many marshmallows.
His cat found it delicious,
so he fed it more
and more of the delicious
drink. It inflated and
grew a basket between its
Thighs. This puzzled many, and
few thought this was a
wierd thing to think about.
Others thought this was funny.
So they were arrested for...
imitating the cat. "NO!!!!" they
shouted, as they were dragged
Into the depths of Atlantis.
Atlantis suddenly exploded, and many
Of the giggling macho squirrels
took part in a ceremony
sacrificing Lemmings floppies to the
Bean babies of the world.
This was really, really sad.
So the lemmings floppies escaped
and got some random people
to shout, while being dragged
right into the murky aqueduct.
This bizarre ritual caused untoward
men to run around the
echoing halls of the dead.
But then mummies emerged from
The island of Japanese turtles.
Then Vietnamese animals started to
Attack all with frilly hats!
A grey, depressed elephant guy
(TOTPD!)
Filled his trunk with coconuts...
and broke the World Record
for 'Biggest waste of dump'.
(Spot the references! [smiley=devil.gif])
He also won a big
fat, gravity defying duck. This
made the guy laugh out
thus breaking the world record
Reluctance of KAESE for australepithicai.
This irritated the polar bears...
and caused them to explode
Who are you and what have you done with the world's sanity level!?
...with great immeasurable teddy power.
One polar bear survived, and
poked the turkey to bring
justice to spanish internet forums.
However, the German ones were
blocking the turkey from doing
strange things with old CDs
for which he should have
been put on the sex-offenders
Wall Of Shame. A cat
was banned from a forum
For posting about casino games
(You all should recognise that ;))
. Weird eggs were strategically placed
on a pink chess board,
which spontaneously combusted, throwing huge
electrical charges at magical kittens
who all fell into eggcups.
The eggcups fell from the
sky, slaying several bizzarre lifeforms.
One bizarre lifeform, which was
now marooned on this wasted
effort of a god-forsaken planet
(I'm hating life right now. XD)
stole a knife and went
to stab itself, like Juliet.
Nobody stopped it, so it
got bored and ate sushi.
It discovered that sushi did
not like being eaten, so...
it diced the sushi. However,
a mouthful of crisps screamed.
(Semi-quoting IM conversations can be fun. [smiley=laugh.gif])
Then 15 pieces of cake
detonated in the mouths of
the almighty dingo of Dingeria.
It died a painful death.
Someone touched themself at night...
. It was some weirdo named
Ice_Eagle. He was not related...
to anyone. Then he disappeared.
And the dingo appeared again.
[btw Ice: do you have MSN or any other messenger software?]
(yeah. I have AIM.)
It started to bug other
dingoes, which caused hydrochloric acid...
[add Steaver370]
, plus iodine and uranium, which
all reacted to form Dingonium.
Dingonium is extremely radioactive to
the maximum extent permitted by...
all organisms of any type.
The exception was someone's mamma.
[hey, did you add me? I didn't get any message from you yet...]
(yeah. i added you)
Dingonium poisoned many tundras, forests,
[say something! ^_^]
and mums. However, one atom...
secretly traveled across the forest,
and exploded. This was not...
good at all. Californium had
recayed into 1332666De (Develenium). This...
element is agile and powerful.
With Hydrochloric Acid, it formed...
a super-strong element that's named
Yourmummer. Yourmummer's chemical symbol was...
Ym. It could be solid,
and had the power to
wipe out a whole biome.
Luckily, scientists realized this and
was able to produce medicine
capable of counteracting the effects.
It didn't work on lemmings,
They used it on the
entire area surrounding their testing
and the element had arrived.
The scientists then unleashed a
weapon on the element. The
weapon accidentally annihilated the world.
The element survived the annihilation.
The scientists, however, did not.
The element ate the black
metal moon base, and was
then eating planets, first Venus.
It irrationally moved on to
Mercury, Jupiter, Neptune, Pluto, Mars,
and then Saturn and Uranus.
They were the hardest to
eat the shorts of without...
destroying the rings first. Fortunately
getting severe indigestion. Afterwards it
destroyed the rings with ease.
A B C D E
F G H I- but
J and K were fucking.
L, M, and N shrieked.
O, P, Q and R...
fought. S sped across town.
T and U were retards.
V and W were caged.
They were all shot dead.
What about X, Y, Z?
They were brutally stabbed. Sad.
They were stabbed by Tybalt.
So someone invented a new...
blood sport and declared that
it can easily kill Tybalt.
It did. They celebrated with
Mercutio and Benvolio with happiness.
Soon they would be dead.
Lady Capulet should be blamed.
They hung her at noon.
Lord Capulet cried like a
little boy. It was shameful.
Juliet and the Nurse weeped.
Marauding aliens rampaged through town,
assassinating Lord Capulet. Romeo and
his mum "did it". Hehe.
Juliet shrieked and slapped Romeo.
He ineffectually punched at her.
Suddenly Mercutio jumped at Juliet
shooting Romeo in the groin.
Juliet killed Mercutio. Benvolio killed
everyone else. The aliens slew
Juliet. Benvolio joined the aliens.
However, he was a double-agent.
Benvolio's face was painted red.
He had a maths exam,
[shame, I got the 1000th post in this topic - note the "replies" counter doesn't include the first post, so that's why I thought at first this was the 999th!]
which tested him if he
knew what 2+2 equalled. Fish.
Benvolio got all answers correct.
However, he still failed, because...
the aliens had higher standards.
They decided to move zig.
During a gruesome feast, the
dopefish quickly ate Commander Keen.
Then, strangely, a vorticon wandered
in a Lemmings Level. The
lemmings were not impressed. This...
was weird. The level's name
was "All Your Lem Are
Belong To Us" which was
in both LP2 and UC7.
That was a secret level.
Or was it? Recent studies...
show that this level can
be solved without the nuke.
The style file for it
decided to run away and...
cause an error in Cheapo.
This caused disruptions in time.
It also corrupted many levels,
and made many farts. They...
corrupted all Lemmings-based style files.
Default.sty survived however, somehow, because...
it had no graphics inside.
Actually, it did. It had...
images of exploding brains, and
lots of nuking innocent lemmings.
Everyone started singing Puffy AmiYumi's
songs, which were somewhat bizarre.
Except "SUNRISE", that one ruled.
Other glitches in Default.sty include
teh dingo pwning all zhokkleberries.
Plus, musics 1 to 21
had forgotten Ten Letter Story!
Music 6 had become extinct!
Ice_Eagle also forgot 10LS. He...
actually didn't feel like it.
Someone asked him why not.
It was because he's tired.
So someone smashed his face.
Until a post in 10LS
ate many shorts. This disturbed...
someone a lot. Also, the
entire dingo population were vapourized.
The vaporization produced a new
smell. This was called "gyratetrix".
It was supposed to sting
but instead, it ressurected goats.
And dingoes and extinct animals.
"ALL YOUR BASE, BRO!" said
an ugly coin. It was
ugly. This didn't mean anything...
because it was ugly. A
big furry pen randomly combusted.
Someone's mum was not impressed.
A cake, glue, brick, candle,
goat, email adress, and a...
chunk of a cream pie
took over the entire world.
Each of them started declaring
bisexuality illegal, except the candle.
The candle was immediately executed.
But it's mother fucker survived.
So the mother candle screamed
as an unknown object tried...
to melt the mother candle.
This resulted in much evil.
The glue tried to kill
a duck. A DUCK? This...
made the duck eat it.
Since the candle was taped