Lemmings Forums
Off-Topic Boards => General Discussion => Topic started by: tumble_weed on July 06, 2004, 04:01:20 PM
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you all know the drill...
"The little Lemmings went to...
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...tumble_weed, because he was spamming... ;D
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then T_W petted their heads.
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Which they thought was quite...
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interesting, and so they threw
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there arms right after it.
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The new lack of arms
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caused heavily problems with the
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effectiveness of their exploits. Then
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...Andi added some smilies. :D Everyone....
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waited for mention of streetlights. {EOS}
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None came. All were glad.
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Lemmy gave it a kick. This
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caused it to mega-multiply. "What?"...
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But then a streetlight appeared. {EOS}
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lemmy said "i've tasted better"...
O_o O_o(as in, " i've tasted better streetlights"
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after eating a poisoned streetlight. {EOS}
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Since it was poisoned, he
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...lost 5HP for every step...
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and eventually got to -10.
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He turned green and puked.
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And then he died. However,
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...he had earned a 1-Up...
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so it was possible for
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him to die once only.
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But his brother was very...
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wicked and took the 1-up.
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This caused Lemmy to fart. {EOS}
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"Oh my god!" said Lemmy.
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Then his god appeared. Andi...
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showed Lemmy a video of
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"How to piss 'a-specific-person' off".
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Then, Lemmy pissed someone off.
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it worked.4 lightbulbs said
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: "No more bad words, please!"
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Bad word armies attacked IceEagle. {EOS}
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Lemmy just sat and watched.
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Bill Gates mutated to a/an
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Monster who hunted for Linux.
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Meanwhile, the badwords PWNED IceEagle.
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Lemmy became The Slayer. This
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meant nothing when he mined. {EOS}
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Tux ran over Lemmy. "Help!"
(BTW, Tux is the linux penguin)
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Lemmy screamed, and fell through
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. IceEagle came here and said:
"Is it possible to stop this story and pass it to another one? It's not a story, it's DEATH!!!"
(No really. From now on, let's not make bad happenings to other members, especially when it's death.)
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In a way you are right. But it's fun. :D
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[I never make bad things happen to other members. Just Lemmy. Lemmy is not a member of this forum, as far as I know. Lemmy is a character in the story, so he can die and have horrible things happen to him, right? :P]
a trap door. It was
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the portal to "Save Me."
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But "Save Me" didn't exist...
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so he had to go
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somewhere else instead. He went
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to "We All Fall Down."
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Lemmy had no digger skill,...
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so he passed by cheating.
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He cracked up about it.
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Then someone shackled that...Lemmy!
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Then someone shackled that...Lemmy!
huh?
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Lemmy got PWN'd by Lemeri...
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which gave him an allergy.
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Lem'ka attempted to kill Lemeri...
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[How many times do I have to say this? Stop making other people do things!]
which worked. Blood everywhere. Then...
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Lemeri, being of the undying,
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could not die. Lemmy killed
[Edit - I thought Lemeri wrote Lemmy :P]
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the great dragon Igackdl'tark, a
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a fearsome black wyrm t'was.
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(a a fearsome black wyrm t'was? That's not sense!)
"A a" is really nonsense.
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It really stinks a lot.
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It stinks cause Lemmmy farted.
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Lemmy noticed a black hole.
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He promptly stuck his head...
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in it and suddenly he
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shouted: "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!" Then he coughed.
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Then 2+2 changed to Sharks. {EOS}
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So a band of frost...
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giants threw stones at Lemmy.
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A man named broken Khree...
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broke Lemmy's leg. Lemmy hated
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the evil monk for the
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broken limb. He roared loudly.
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"Shut it!" Khree bellowed, and
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slapped Lemmy across the face.
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Lemmy didn't like that. "I'm...
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getting angry at you, Khree!"
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said a broken hose bottle.
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"What are you doing here?"
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a retarded chicken asked Lemmy.
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Lemmy killed it wrathfully, then
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Obould-who-was Gruumsh killed
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Lemmy, but he once again
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returned, to live again. CAPTAIN-
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he was cut off. Lemmy
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wished for some red bones.
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They strangled Lemmy. The end...
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...would most likely never come.
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A blue dragon came and...
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turned into a red dragon. {EOS}
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It shot out blue flames...
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which made the flowers growing.
This is the 1000th post in this forum!
:party: :party: :party: :party: :party:
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Then it's party time! WOHOO!!!
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"This is my dog," said
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a robot called Bob. He...
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through the dog towards Lemmy.
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Lemmy stomped on the dog.
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With a sickening crack, it
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exploded, and out of it...
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crawled a battered and torn
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Lemming. It was the evil...
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Lemkoo! All were horrified! And
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soon dead. This was sad.
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very sad.several pickles said,
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"Eat me! EEEAAAAT MEEEE!" and
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they got their pathetic wish.
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"That was good" Garl remarked.
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"Very good indeed!" Then they...
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started to jump around in
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paper sacks full of water.
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And a fluid container! EEW!!!
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But none prevailed. So instead,
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they swam to the bottomless...
(Louise...is that avatar...really you?)
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pool of magma. This made...
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quite an impression. Nobody knew...
(Ice_Eagle...no it isn't...why the dot-dot-dots? It's one I found on google, and looks weird anyway because the forum put it out of shape! I'll eventually have a better one up, when I get/make/find one.)
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what a Synracan'scraton was, so
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Everyone still enjoyed Gothcon 04.
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there was much confused frustration.
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"Frools!" the Synracan'scraton cried "I-
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am dying today!" they were
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bemused by a color. It
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sparkled oddly and hypnotised them.
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"Wha-" the Synracan'scraton wondered. Then
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it died in a heap.
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There was a party. Everyone
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wore black and screamed insults.
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Pieces of dust moved 0.000000000000000000000175".
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This annoyed people. They gunned
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They were centimetres from oblivion. {EOS}
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That doesn't work, Steaver.
down everyone in site. Then
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We must have posted at the same time.
If you swap the order, it works fine.
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little green people down. But
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they also returned to live
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again. This made even more
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sense once they saw that
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they were really annoying us!
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So the police stopped the
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car that was exploding
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from hitting the fence. But
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several drawers fell out of
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the trunk, in which was
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lots and lots of cash
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"Hey!" the police yelled, and
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killed a bee that got
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cought in their guns. The
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guns then turned into honey.
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honey tastes sweet so several
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dogs ate the guns. The
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dim radioactive slugde pickle
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killed the driver and the
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steering wheel turned on it's
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Z axis. This weirded a
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dim radioactive slugde pickle
Dumb_lem, that was four words!
lot of people. They mutated...
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pickle out of his mind
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and into a little grape.
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That ate a shelf in
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the Mediterranian sea. "Tasty!" said...
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so they sold it. it
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("Tasty!" said so they sold it on? Dumb_lem! Please modify your last post!)
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sold badly. very badly. stock
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it all on a lot...
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is very poor advice. Nobody
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likes a zombie, except for
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...necrophiliacs, whose attraction scares me.
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They like them too much.
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But one day a Zombie
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stalked out of a cupboard
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in the house of a
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rich man. He did not
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kill Saablic Tan that day.
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He killed him later. The
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red wizard died. Later that
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day, the forgotten zombie did
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not take a shower. He
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smelled like a lemming. WEIRD!
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But that wasn't half of
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the smell. That half smells...
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much worse. But never mind,
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the retarded chickens will survive. {EOS}
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Except for the atom bomb.
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Which, of course, is not
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being built for that purpose,
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But it caused a global
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nuclear fallout that killed them.
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Why? Because DeadLemming2004 tampered it.
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Alas, it killed him also.
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Or would have, but he
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executed a daring backwards leap.
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Into the stasis chamber. So
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he was frozen in time.
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And so was Xan Kriegor.
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Mortimer McMire mocked them. Then
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Xan killed McMire after breaking
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the speed limit. Sirens squaked,
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and a car ran over
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a Lemming crossing the street.
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The driver jumped out, and
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got bloodshed. Blue blood came
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pouring out from under the
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edge of the sofa. Everyone
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was fascinated by it. They
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started to laugh at the
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bleeding driver, who saw a...
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...brand new Ford Fiesta idling...
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the bleeding driver. But then...
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he realised it was too
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much trouble to save himself.
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So he decided to suicide.
//edit: OMG! What a scary story! XD
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He failed, so the law
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arrested him. For 90 years...
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he rotted in prison. Then
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he became an ancient fossil. &#A0;:P
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He was dug up millions
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of seconds later. They threw
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pitch on his grave until
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his decaying skeleton emerged from
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the ashes of success. Bunnies
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bit the heads of many
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small and strange looking frogs.
edit by admin
Watch your words!
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The dead man staggered off.
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He soon got bloodshed! Whoa!
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Then he fell in a
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hole full of korma. Then...
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He died. For real now.
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A zombie-who-is-so-ugly-and-repulsive-as-an-olive-that-everyone-died appeared and killed...
(That's five words, okay?)
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That's not really 5 words, but anyway....
...the first one he saw.
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(Yes it is! Due to the use of hyphen, that's five words. Btw, it's That's, not That'.)
The one he killed was...
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Ooops. ;P But we shouldn't use that hyphen-stuff.
... the minister of glory. He
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then ate a slimy donut. ;P
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The conversation turned ugly. The
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stories turned ugly, too. ;P Then...
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the 'Lemmings Universe(/Forums)' crew decided
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to make the discussion board...
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looking more like a beautiful
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place to discuss lots of...
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social issues involving retarded chickens....
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, streetlights, donuts, chain-posters, stories, and...
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selfdestructing bridges over acid rivers. {EOS}
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And game-over screens that we...
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would always see G3K getting. {EOS}
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One from Sonic Advance, one...
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...which hated cliches a lot...
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, one from Eye Toy: Groove,
(You know that game, don't you?)
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and one from Fury 3x.
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The worst of the lot.
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In the museum were game-over...
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signs that said that there
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are people who are very...
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dedicated to their work. Masses
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of game-over-screens were very magnificent.
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Eventually the people grew tired
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of the five word story.
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So they held a public
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execution, and blood flowed everywhere.
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Then Ynmel licked all blood... ;P
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off the stage, and a
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cow tried to smell Ynmel.
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The public killed them both.
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But then Starfox and Zelda...
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had a dreadful feast with
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the remains of the deceased.
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"These remians suck" Starfox declared.
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"Food and blood!" he added.
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"The food of kings!" They
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chorused, slamming their mugs down.
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So then they all left.
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The corpses of the dead
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were piled high that day.
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And banners flew from turrets
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then flew into Zelda's face.
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Zelda fell off the turret.
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Then she broke all of...
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the bones in her body.
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"Euyuch!" she exclaimed. "I'm squishy!"
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Then she became a jellyfish.
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She got caught and eaten
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by a ravenous purple squid.
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It was the end. A
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Vorticon Mothership loomed over the
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Earth, and rained death, in
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large quantities of uranium. Unfortunately,
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the planet blew up, killing
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all lifeforms residing upon it.
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"Your time is done, primates!"
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said a Pokemon named Rayquaza.
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Who was really a Doppleganger,
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and throttled the being known
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as Harley 'The Mag-GOT' Johnson,
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the meanest one on Earth.
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They partied on his grave.
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But then the ghost killed
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them, ripping apart many of
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their flesh, spleen, ribs, heart,
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and discovered the lungs were
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very stinky as a boot.
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A talking meat loaf killed
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a ketchup bottle, which resulted
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to weird, gross stuff that
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kicked the rat that ate
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the organs on the dirt.
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And the blood cakes. YUCK!!!!!
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Then Jimmy McLemming came and
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swept them all away. Rain
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...poured down for a minute...
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, and when it was gone,
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there was only grim desolation.
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Someone made "Oblivion Xtreme", which...
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hurt like anything. The surviving
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lemmings have lots of forgetfulness.
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A mad car driver died.
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He died of a disease.
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He died in the mud.
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A mud of oblivion, that
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engulfed his soul in evil.
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He was a virus now.
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Hated and feared by all.
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His name was Dr. Robotnik.
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Sonic The Hedgehog destoyed him.
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And Tails and Knuckles, too.
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Tails and Knuckles were destroyed.
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They couldn't hide glittery puddings.
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The puddings were made from
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The bodies of dead lemmings.
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And Tails and Knuckles, too.
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Some Nali ate it. It
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tasted like korma. Then Nali
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they also died. it was
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a horrible experience to see.
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people cheered for the tragedy.
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Except a girl named Hecate.
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who was walking backwards to
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absorb sorrow and pain from
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a post off between ice_eagle
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(DUMB LEM!!!!)
. So then Hecate used magic
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(whaddid i do?)
to destroy the sith.they
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(You put my name in the story. Please! No members in the story!)
laughed at Hecate for doing
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this was supposed to be like the magic wars and lemmings story,
three vercingetorixs marched to troy
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(This is the 5 word story, not the magic wars or lemmings story!)
. Hecate then absorbed pain and
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(oops) X_X
three castles fell at once.
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Then Hecate got squished and
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(yer fast)
all the people bought carbon
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(you too! ;))
monoxide containers, then suddenly died. :D
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(tanx)
the carbon was poisoned so
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(Thanks, too!)
then Hecate was revived, because
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yer welc
the people were afraid because
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(You too! :D :D :D)
of Hecate, who used magic
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tanx
the people hated magic for
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(You're welcome! That's enough, okay! &#A0;:D)
the ugliest fairies on earth.
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k
the fairies flew to mars.
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But then they all died.
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cheaters didn't like that so
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they all revived the fairies.
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and they came back from
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came back from mars, so
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people rejoiced by eating slugs
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They tasted like Earthworm Jim. :D
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The people died of it.
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Earthworm Jim fell and splatted.
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Then Overall man Mario appeared.
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And he fell and splatted,
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And his overalls were soon
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covered with his own blood.
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His head was smashed like
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a bowl of eggs. The
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spleen, heart, brain, eyes, ribs,
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are the same. The brain
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however, was lookin' really odd.
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A couple of guys bought
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a sharpened, metal trowel to
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dig in the stinkiest ground.
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Overall Man Mario became undead.
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And he terrorized the public.
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By using his ugly overalls,
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to trip them up, and
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force them to wear them.
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Commander keen showed up, and
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ripped out Mario's ugly overalls. :D ;P
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"Die, Captain Keen!" Mario sneered.
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But then Mario farted loud.
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He crushed Commander Keen's face.
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Then he kissed his overalls.
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Then the story left Mario,
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who kissed his overalls everytime.
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A big 'ol pie fell
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on his overalls. Then a
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Semi truck hit him. Bang.
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KABOOM!!! Then Luigi appeared and
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died horrible. They buried him.
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And his ugly overalls, too.
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Then they dug a grave.
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A grave of Mario's overalls.
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For Mario's overalls, that is.
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The ghost of Mario's overalls
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Left the house of Jack.
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Then entered a nerd's house.
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Then the sewer man fell
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on Luigi's overalls. He puked.
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He got the dry heaves.
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But then he smashed them.
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But that act proved fatal.
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It was very, very fatal.
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Then Sonic the Hedgehog resigned.
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And Miles "Tails" Prower too.
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And Knuckles, the feindish dog.
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And Shadow the Hedgehog, too.
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There was a bloodbath, and
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everyone got soaked in blood.
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This scared a bunch of
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the lemmings that are mellow.
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And yellow. They drank blood.
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With cocktails. And Martinis. And
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the poop of Shrek. Really!
( :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D)
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Well, not actually. It was
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a bunch of stinky overalls.
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Taken from Mario's corpse. But
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the overalls smelled like iguanas.
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The iguanas smelt like mint.
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But not for very long.
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They all *beep*ing blew up.
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"Really?" asked George W. Bush.
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Then a Lemming crossed the
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line for tastefulness and logic.
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But that lemming sniffed milk.
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A piece of dirt died.
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but really was never alive
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Therefore the dirt was undead.
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The dirt got cast in
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A thimble that was magical. (um......don't ask)
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It was enchanted to make
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a plague sweep the world.
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It killed every single being.
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And good riddance to them.
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They all sucked. But one
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such Lemming foresaw his own
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death, and walked the land
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before the cataclysm. The Lemming
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soon was dead. His ghost
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founded a club for evil
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vampires who all voted to
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hang him from the yardarm.
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The highest one, of course.
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And they did it, too.
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Then they had a party.
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They got drunk on fine
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imported Russian booze. Vodka and
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other such things. They also
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Danced, for they had 600
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hours of nightlife before them.
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They emptied their clips, and
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sprayed some more lead. Then
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all ate deviled ham. It
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was such vile slop that
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shot it full of lead, untill
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the whisky bottles broke and
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stabbed itself on the top.
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The whisky leaked everywhere, including
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the slimiest salad dressing from
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Venezuela. The Venezuelens were angry
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, so they shouted "You'll pay!"
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"Do you accept credit cards?"
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"No, I'm sorry. We don't"
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"Oblivion express, sir," snarled the
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Lemfatal. Her hair suddenly changed
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into murderous lizards. It strangled
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the credit cards. Soon everyone
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was rolling in mud, like
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the fifteen giant bouncing aardvarks.
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The ants all died of fear.
-
A new type of life
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appeared. They were called post-its.
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The Post-its ate all the
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pencils. The world was ruined.
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But then, cheapie pens appeared!
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The pens kissed the teachers.
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The students fainted. The principal
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just ate a red hotdog.
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Suddenly, a talking head rolled
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through the open doorway. He
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shouted in a great voice
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"I will rule the world!!
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It fell in the stew.
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This caused quite a stir.
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A stir which smells gross.
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Gross like a cave-man's armpit.
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Nemesis and Penance were monsters,
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monsters that smelled like trolls.
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Zhokkleberry-flavoured shit rained from clouds.
-
(Censor that word!)
"You broke the rules!" someone
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burped, while smelling someone's farts.
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It was really, really disgusting.
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The losers lost. G3K smelled.
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He smelled only 12%. So
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the other 88% was arses...
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Someone cleaned him, but then
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the arses still smelled 88%.
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Louise has created a monster. O_O
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It shall destroy all who
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fail either English OR Maths.
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And those who defy it.
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Including the one and only...
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atomic super-droid, who in turn
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helped people's mums with housework.
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Then murdered them slowly, cruelly.
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The losers lost. Again. However,
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that means nothing to reasonable
-
numbers of selfish/retarded people from
(Note that selfish/retarded counts as one word due to slash! :P)
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a wide variety of inhospitable
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hospitals. "Right", Lemmy whispered to....
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a big can of wood.
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Then he took a fall.
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Into the deepest, darkest despair.
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Sadly, he never did recover.
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Until he found a goldfish...
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that showed him the secrets
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of Advanced Sweeping. "Interesting idea,"
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but not as good as
-
some I've heard," sneered Lemmy.
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Lem'ka bought "Shit On Toast"...
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at 'The Salad Bowl' cafe.
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"But there are the extraminancelus!"
-
Fat Mother opened the door.
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"OMG! It's all messed up!"
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said a retarded chicken. "Oh...
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I see you own smeggalinas!
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Which was a lie. Theives
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sacked Rome in 400 AD. &#A0; &#A0;O_o
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They loped away with the
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last remaining roman standard.
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Centuries later, this was a
-
environmentally friendly shampoo bottle, which...
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was a detriment to all.
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Suddenly, a gigantic atomic core
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imploded near a little-known planet,
-
...causing many a corrupted savestate.
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This placed Fox at Corneria.
(darn it!)
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A competition was being held,
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that had people try to...
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hurl spears at living targets.
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Everyone was a terrible shot.
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Some even impaled themselves, so
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Frederick Barbarossa led teutonic knights...
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around the pits of slaughter.
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everyone but slippy laughed. Frederick Barbarossa
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had a self destruct sequence.
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it didn't work.staples hopped
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Over a pit and missed.
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It was a gruesome death.
-
Then all ants killed themselves.
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None were greatly saddened, therefore
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2247 species of hymonepteran insects
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were destroyed by legions of
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nuclear forks. This caused mass...
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hysteria among the decimated population.
-
Popular sovereignty ensued. This was
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poorly recieved. The angry mob
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hurt it self during the rebellion.
-
Thousands died one bloody night.
-
The fish eventually dominated earth.
-
This led to a rebellion.
-
Control went to the squirrels. X_X
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They abused their power. Nothing
-
ate the tomato, so it...
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Savage Night Creatures invaded earth.
-
imploded gruesomely, raining gore everywhere.
-
They imposed martial law, decreeing
-
That Charles II did not...
-
have mercy for petty criminals.
-
"BEWARE OF THE FEET". This
-
was emblazoned upon the hull
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of the Pheonician quadrareme. Ghosts......
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rended their victim's souls so
-
that the Phoenician empire revived.
-
And then it fell forever
-
. This was good for Italy.
-
Unfortunately, someone started the nuclear
-
toximbom, which ended in stalemate.
-
The sun imploded, casually snuffing
-
half the known universe out.
-
Smilies attacked nothingness :devil: :devil:
-
Then they managed to take
-
down Baron Manfred Von Richtofen.
-
Then someone looked up Goatse...
-
and ate the reply button!!! O_o
-
Of your remote control to
-
Bob's house. The dynamite exploded
-
and took the top half
-
of his head clean off.
-
Blood and gore spurted everywhere.
-
"DOWN WITH THE WORLD!" A
-
mutated lemming cried. Mole rats
-
were eating Sartor. Keanor fell!!!
-
"Surprise..." a Darkfriend laughed into
-
a box of donuts. The.........
-
The donut box ate him.
-
Shortly after, they were chased...
-
into a hole full of
-
the tortured dead. Bizarre monstrosities
-
ate Malon. They were applauded.
-
The wombat of Seville kicked
-
the ICBM, which caused explosion!
-
Explosions cause rubble. Rubbles causes
-
Death and Suffocation, this causes
-
carnage; food for the vultures. :D
-
There were excessive man-eating donuts.
-
But the men ate donuts.
-
So Finland made more donuts,
-
and so did Saudi Arabia
-
which turned very bright blue
-
then pink, black, and red
-
. There were too many Arbalests.
-
And quite a few trebuchets.
-
Which is also why parrots
-
are called budgies. A parrot/budgie
-
ate the trebuchets from before!
-
[My 50th post! :party: ]
The odd lack of trebuchets
-
...opened up a niche for...
-
the Korean Market to sell
-
...nuclear homing parrots to the ...
-
the teutonic knights! Oh no!
-
A n00b appeared. He/she liked...
-
...hyphenating words to sneak extra...
-
cookies into the glass jar.
-
Seiko was amazed to find
-
mutated parrots clawing at the
-
D sign of the shirt
-
that had donuts. Too many...
-
traces of deadly poison in
-
The bottle of juice caused
-
the unlamented, untimely death of
-
Bob. His family was devestated.
-
A wolf ate thirty five
-
pigs, then thirty five donuts.
-
He discovered he prefered donuts.
-
So thats it? someone asked
-
Bob. "Actually yes"
-
He replied. A sign read
-
"This Sign has sharp edges!"
-
"Oh bother it!!!" said sd;ljasd;fj.
-
Sd;ljasd;fj is a computer program
(I hate those wierd and unusual names Timballisto. :mikeundecided:)
-
that calculates several thousand equations.
-
It malfunctioned magnificently, destroying gigabytes
-
, this formed gigabugs, which was
-
harmful to the database. Meanwhile
-
it eroded the cybernetic memory
-
. "Does that even exist?" said
-
John, who was with his
-
chicken at the time. When
-
the chicken bit its leg
-
the bird experienced sudden death.
-
This greatly upset John, who
-
had to fund the funeral.
-
John hung himself because of
-
this. He had no funeral.
-
The third funeral was a
-
bad one. The dead guy
-
didn't stay dead, although It's
-
undead hand attempted to throttle
-
a nearby child, who just
-
first thought. It was ununununundead
-
wrote a note to his
-
pet Rabbit, who was staying
-
at the funeral. The zombie
-
was not as undead as
-
which apparently further reduced its
-
undeadiness. It then became undeadly
-
to the box store. "BAD!"
-
said the Manager, who swiftly
-
removed the undead guy. Then
-
a restraining order was placed
-
on the dead guy. He
-
Killed the computer. Graphics Adaptors
-
took over the world, after
-
all. These were dark times
-
for the people of Nomsyville.
-
They had to eat peanuts.
-
Their cats ate their dogs
-
and their dogs ate rocks!
-
Thankfully, the dogs choked fatally.
-
This caused an extreme shortage
-
of cat food. The cats
-
started eating other animals, until
-
they ate poisonous snakes. That
-
stunted their population growth, with
-
that, they rebelled. The dictator
-
was overthrown, and replaced by
-
a democracy. The elections made
-
good use of Postal Ballots.
-
But not good enough! The
-
Postal man went Postal and
-
posted all his complaints to
-
the nearest post office box.
-
The post was sorted into
-
Two boxes; Spam, and Trash.
-
The spam was burned, the
-
trash was incinerated, and this
-
caused an angry face appearance.
>=(
-
The Smiley was alarmed at
-
its own appearance! It changed.
8 |
-
This didn't affect reality, however.
-
There were still countless varieties
-
of superb automatic weapons, relentlessly
-
fired at poor criminals as
-
they attempted ducks and rolls.
-
They didn't survive that attack
-
and the terrorist threat was
-
eliminated. Long life to the
-
Lower class population. They discovered
-
imperfect cloning methods, creating such
-
flies that had the ability
-
to devour flesh, reforming into
-
a civilization, the flies began
-
Cloning more, and Rudolph was
-
considered to be some kind
-
of large chicken. This was
-
very bad for the higher
-
order of slugs. They decided
-
to give him the death.
-
This was an unattainable target
-
as cats like to annoy
-
the much younger generation of
-
hamsters. The hamsters ate rocks.
-
This formed an ancient dust.
-
It fell in clouds upon
-
the last day. Millions died.
-
There was no more left.
-
And thus it was declared
-
that dogs should eat monkeys
-
only on the Feast of
-
the Mad Hermit. Without doubt,
-
this was catastrophic. Unknown forces
-
Tried to taint the touch
(That not too many T's is it? ;P )
-
of the elven hamburger stand.
(yeah, just one too many T's)
-
This resulted in The Force
(Tee Hee :D)
-
getting scrambled up. "Oh no!"
-
said a nerby impressionist. "Stop
-
removing garage barriers!" said Jimmy.
-
Suddenly Jimmy got hurt by
-
a mysterious green rat, who
-
ate other mysterious green rats.
-
Shortly after, there were only
-
two left. They fought to
-
eat the moldy cheese of
-
Scrumpy Downs, who is angry
-
over the mess Qixzii, his
-
one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple people
-
eater. This was a tuna
-
fish of great power, it
-
began to conquer the world.
-
However, it couldn't take Tibet
-
because he always rolled ones.
^_^
-
His opponent always rolled sixes.
-
The muffin rolled a seven?
-
, which is impossible. something exploded
-
outside Outer Outingham. "Ouch" he
-
said as he banged his
-
little brother against the wall.
EDIT: I've just changed "on" to "against". Nothing special.
-
That left some gooey green
-
volatile substance, which then changed
-
into a rich man who
-
ate five pies, which contained
-
the deadly Chemical X. This
-
made more pies. The public
-
got a lifetime supply of
-
pies. "TOO MANY PIES!!!!!!" shouted
-
The Mayor, who had just
-
eaten a large blueberry pie.
-
A chicken was in disguise.
-
The chicken was eaten by
-
a rather large bird. Flies
-
were made by the clouds.
-
These clouds, made from tiny
-
water droplets, rained. Rain's good!
-
Said a purple frog. Cats
-
ate the purple frogs. Grating
-
cheese damages your arteries. There
-
are many ways in which
-
platypusses can eat falling beans.
(story summary coming up)
-
(I can't get it to work and I'm NOT doing a summary completely by hand! Maybe someone who's a better programmer can isolate all the posts.)
-
"Want some magic beans? They're
-
very tasty." Said a lady
-
to an inexperienced young boy.
-
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?" said the boy. Dirt
-
realised that it was treated
-
like itself. Something died horribly
-
during that experiment, and many
-
dirt grains weeped for eternity.
-
Suddenly there was a huge
-
earthquake, measuring 9.6 on the
-
Richter scale. Millions died of
-
weirdness poisoning, which is why
-
you must always carry syringes
-
to inject into bricks. Heavy
-
Armoury can also have this
(WOOHOO!:party: Crack open the Champagne, I've reached the big 500! :D)
-
technical problem in paint 2.
(Imagine that. &#A0;Paint 2? &#A0;(laughing))
-
Cream cheese attacked people's sandwiches
(story summary coming up)
(I can't get it to work and I'm NOT doing a summary completely by hand! Maybe someone who's a better programmer can isolate all the posts.)
(I think a decent summary of this is 'Randomness'. ;P)
-
and was defeated by mustard
-
. This caused a catsup uprisal
-
which made too many bukcets.
-
"That's 'Buckets'" Mustard corrected, "you
-
freaking moron!" Well then we
-
exploded. Instantly a cow transofogipolliwogamushified
-
into a bull, it became
-
a really, really confused bull
-
who had eaten a pig.
-
Pigs hate pork pies because
-
they could be eating their
-
own bodies, which tasted weird.
-
Was this worse than cannibalism?
-
Well, no. It's roughly the
-
equivalent of a bad hamburger.
-
And so, comforted by that
-
the pigs started eating themselves.
-
They weren't all that smart.
-
Lord Voldemort arrived and ate
-
stupidity. He became stupid. "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh..."
-
Harry Potter laughed out loud.
-
Some person got a cold.
-
That person was Draco Malfoy.
-
He held a contest of
-
who could drown the fastest.
-
The contestants were: Professor Snape,
-
Some other Dude, and a
-
bright purple cow called Fhqwhgads.
-
Obviously, Fhqwhgads won, and so
-
He tripped over himself happily!
-
Snape was really angry, so
-
he decided to go on
-
and trap Fhqwhgads. Unfortunately, he
-
Stumbled across a mine field.
-
His head a splode. Many
-
ugly boys had appeared. Suddenly,
-
someone made hot chocolate which
-
was rather hot and chocolatey
-
and smothered with many marshmallows.
-
His cat found it delicious,
-
so he fed it more
-
and more of the delicious
-
drink. It inflated and
-
grew a basket between its
-
Thighs. This puzzled many, and
-
few thought this was a
-
wierd thing to think about.
-
Others thought this was funny.
-
So they were arrested for...
-
imitating the cat. "NO!!!!" they
-
shouted, as they were dragged
-
Into the depths of Atlantis.
-
Atlantis suddenly exploded, and many
-
Of the giggling macho squirrels
-
took part in a ceremony
-
sacrificing Lemmings floppies to the
-
Bean babies of the world.
-
This was really, really sad.
-
So the lemmings floppies escaped
-
and got some random people
-
to shout, while being dragged
-
right into the murky aqueduct.
-
This bizarre ritual caused untoward
-
men to run around the
-
echoing halls of the dead.
-
But then mummies emerged from
-
The island of Japanese turtles.
-
Then Vietnamese animals started to
-
Attack all with frilly hats!
-
A grey, depressed elephant guy
(TOTPD!)
-
Filled his trunk with coconuts...
-
and broke the World Record
-
for 'Biggest waste of dump'.
(Spot the references! [smiley=devil.gif])
-
He also won a big
-
fat, gravity defying duck. This
-
made the guy laugh out
-
thus breaking the world record
-
Reluctance of KAESE for australepithicai.
-
This irritated the polar bears...
-
and caused them to explode
-
Who are you and what have you done with the world's sanity level!?
...with great immeasurable teddy power.
-
One polar bear survived, and
-
poked the turkey to bring
-
justice to spanish internet forums.
-
However, the German ones were
-
blocking the turkey from doing
-
strange things with old CDs
-
for which he should have
-
been put on the sex-offenders
-
Wall Of Shame. A cat
-
was banned from a forum
-
For posting about casino games
(You all should recognise that ;))
-
. Weird eggs were strategically placed
-
on a pink chess board,
-
which spontaneously combusted, throwing huge
-
electrical charges at magical kittens
-
who all fell into eggcups.
-
The eggcups fell from the
-
sky, slaying several bizzarre lifeforms.
-
One bizarre lifeform, which was
-
now marooned on this wasted
-
effort of a god-forsaken planet
(I'm hating life right now. XD)
-
stole a knife and went
-
to stab itself, like Juliet.
-
Nobody stopped it, so it
-
got bored and ate sushi.
-
It discovered that sushi did
-
not like being eaten, so...
-
it diced the sushi. However,
-
a mouthful of crisps screamed.
(Semi-quoting IM conversations can be fun. [smiley=laugh.gif])
-
Then 15 pieces of cake
-
detonated in the mouths of
-
the almighty dingo of Dingeria.
-
It died a painful death.
-
Someone touched themself at night...
-
. It was some weirdo named
-
Ice_Eagle. He was not related...
-
to anyone. Then he disappeared.
-
And the dingo appeared again.
[btw Ice: do you have MSN or any other messenger software?]
-
(yeah. I have AIM.)
It started to bug other
-
dingoes, which caused hydrochloric acid...
[add Steaver370]
-
, plus iodine and uranium, which
-
all reacted to form Dingonium.
-
Dingonium is extremely radioactive to
-
the maximum extent permitted by...
-
all organisms of any type.
-
The exception was someone's mamma.
[hey, did you add me? I didn't get any message from you yet...]
-
(yeah. i added you)
Dingonium poisoned many tundras, forests,
-
[say something! ^_^]
and mums. However, one atom...
-
secretly traveled across the forest,
-
and exploded. This was not...
-
good at all. Californium had
-
recayed into 1332666De (Develenium). This...
-
element is agile and powerful.
-
With Hydrochloric Acid, it formed...
-
a super-strong element that's named
-
Yourmummer. Yourmummer's chemical symbol was...
-
Ym. It could be solid,
-
and had the power to
-
wipe out a whole biome.
-
Luckily, scientists realized this and
-
was able to produce medicine
-
capable of counteracting the effects.
-
It didn't work on lemmings,
-
They used it on the
-
entire area surrounding their testing
-
and the element had arrived.
-
The scientists then unleashed a
-
weapon on the element. The
-
weapon accidentally annihilated the world.
-
The element survived the annihilation.
-
The scientists, however, did not.
-
The element ate the black
-
metal moon base, and was
-
then eating planets, first Venus.
-
It irrationally moved on to
-
Mercury, Jupiter, Neptune, Pluto, Mars,
-
and then Saturn and Uranus.
-
They were the hardest to
-
eat the shorts of without...
-
destroying the rings first. Fortunately
-
getting severe indigestion. Afterwards it
-
destroyed the rings with ease.
-
A B C D E
-
F G H I- but
-
J and K were fucking.
-
L, M, and N shrieked.
-
O, P, Q and R...
-
fought. S sped across town.
-
T and U were retards.
-
V and W were caged.
-
They were all shot dead.
-
What about X, Y, Z?
-
They were brutally stabbed. Sad.
-
They were stabbed by Tybalt.
-
So someone invented a new...
-
blood sport and declared that
-
it can easily kill Tybalt.
-
It did. They celebrated with
-
Mercutio and Benvolio with happiness.
-
Soon they would be dead.
-
Lady Capulet should be blamed.
-
They hung her at noon.
-
Lord Capulet cried like a
-
little boy. It was shameful.
-
Juliet and the Nurse weeped.
-
Marauding aliens rampaged through town,
-
assassinating Lord Capulet. Romeo and
-
his mum "did it". Hehe.
-
Juliet shrieked and slapped Romeo.
-
He ineffectually punched at her.
-
Suddenly Mercutio jumped at Juliet
-
shooting Romeo in the groin.
-
Juliet killed Mercutio. Benvolio killed
-
everyone else. The aliens slew
-
Juliet. Benvolio joined the aliens.
-
However, he was a double-agent.
-
Benvolio's face was painted red.
-
He had a maths exam,
[shame, I got the 1000th post in this topic - note the "replies" counter doesn't include the first post, so that's why I thought at first this was the 999th!]
-
which tested him if he
-
knew what 2+2 equalled. Fish.
-
Benvolio got all answers correct.
-
However, he still failed, because...
-
the aliens had higher standards.
-
They decided to move zig.
-
During a gruesome feast, the
-
dopefish quickly ate Commander Keen.
-
Then, strangely, a vorticon wandered
-
in a Lemmings Level. The
-
lemmings were not impressed. This...
-
was weird. The level's name
-
was "All Your Lem Are
-
Belong To Us" which was
-
in both LP2 and UC7.
-
That was a secret level.
-
Or was it? Recent studies...
-
show that this level can
-
be solved without the nuke.
-
The style file for it
-
decided to run away and...
-
cause an error in Cheapo.
-
This caused disruptions in time.
-
It also corrupted many levels,
-
and made many farts. They...
-
corrupted all Lemmings-based style files.
-
Default.sty survived however, somehow, because...
-
it had no graphics inside.
-
Actually, it did. It had...
-
images of exploding brains, and
-
lots of nuking innocent lemmings.
-
Everyone started singing Puffy AmiYumi's
-
songs, which were somewhat bizarre.
-
Except "SUNRISE", that one ruled.
-
Other glitches in Default.sty include
-
teh dingo pwning all zhokkleberries.
-
Plus, musics 1 to 21
-
had forgotten Ten Letter Story!
-
Music 6 had become extinct!
-
Ice_Eagle also forgot 10LS. He...
-
actually didn't feel like it.
-
Someone asked him why not.
-
It was because he's tired.
-
So someone smashed his face.
-
Until a post in 10LS
-
ate many shorts. This disturbed...
-
someone a lot. Also, the
-
entire dingo population were vapourized.
-
The vaporization produced a new
-
smell. This was called "gyratetrix".
-
It was supposed to sting
-
but instead, it ressurected goats.
-
And dingoes and extinct animals.
-
"ALL YOUR BASE, BRO!" said
-
an ugly coin. It was
-
ugly. This didn't mean anything...
-
because it was ugly. A
-
big furry pen randomly combusted.
-
Someone's mum was not impressed.
-
A cake, glue, brick, candle,
-
goat, email adress, and a...
-
chunk of a cream pie
-
took over the entire world.
-
Each of them started declaring
-
bisexuality illegal, except the candle.
-
The candle was immediately executed.
-
But it's mother fucker survived.
-
So the mother candle screamed
-
as an unknown object tried...
-
to melt the mother candle.
-
This resulted in much evil.
-
The glue tried to kill
-
a duck. A DUCK? This...
-
made the duck eat it.
-
Since the candle was taped