Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer!

[namida]

Another favourite of mine, which I'm surprised hasn't been started here yet.
The title pretty much says it all. The answers obviously shouldn't be serious, and don't have to be truthful in any way.
Once you answer the question, ask the next one.

Q: Why do lemmings have green hair?

[Yawg]

A: A freak accident involving hamsters, a bar of soap, and 4000 metric tons of Plutonium.
Q: Who taught lemmings how to fence through solid rock?

[Dullstar]

A:  They were taught by the evil hamster zombies that were out to conquer the world.
Q:  How does Mario eat a mushroom that's his own size?
How to make the line:

Code: [Select]

[Yawg]

A: His jaw distends like a snake's, because he's not really a Japanese-Italian plumber...he's really a Japanese-Italian plumber CYBORG.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Dullstar]

A:  To see what it is like to get ran over by a chicken driving a car.
Q:  What is the IQ of any given mouse?

[namida]

Nothing, until you plug them into a PC.
What is the answer to the question of the person after you?

[Dullstar]

A:  What's the question?
Q:  What is the next question, considering I have been asked to answer it by the previous question?

[namida]

A: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Q: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?

[Dullstar]

A:  Most likely asteroids/meteors.
Q:  Was the previous question very stupid?

[namida]

A: Only on thursdays.
Q: What do you get if you cross a bike with a dingo?

[Dullstar]

A:  Why don't you Google it first?
Q:  How many letters are supported in MS-DOS?

[namida]

A: Four. The dash is not a letter, and the second S is kind of falling off due to lack of support.
Q: What do ducks eat?

[Dullstar]

A:  They eat what ducks eat.
Q:  Why is Google awesome?

[namida]

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W23LKD9Z1hw" class="bbc_link" target="_blank">Because you touch yourself at night.
Q: Which road did the chicken cross?

[Dullstar]

Namida, be careful what context you use on your links.  I reported that one to the moderators because due to the context I feel that could be a link to a nasty video.  I could be wrong, but still...

A:  I refuse to answer.
Q:  Why was the current keyboard layout created?

[namida]

Don't worry, the video isn't nasty at all. It's a Family Guy clip.

A: Because the one before it sucked.
Q: What do you get if you multiple nix by sine?

[Dullstar]

You get nothing, because there isn't such a number!
Why is context important in links?

[namida]

A: Because it can warn you away from links that may otherwise http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzsQiB560EM" class="bbc_link" target="_blank">really annoy you.
Q: Be honest, did you click that one?

[Dullstar]

A:  Let's back off the video links for a while until things cool down a little.
Q:  What is the answer to the mathematical equation 7*9896458365475365⁹⁹?

[namida]

A: Some multiple, possibly fractional, of 7⁹⁹*9896458365475365.
Q: What's the difference between a snake on a plane and two white guys plus T-Pain on a boat?

[Dullstar]

A:  See context of q.
Q:  Is there a question?

[namida]

A: Yes but the question is a lie.
Q: Are you still alive?

[Dullstar]

A:  Yes, or I wouldn't be typing this.
Q:  What is the name of this thread?

[namida]

A: Ask a stupid answer, get a stupid question.
Q: Which is the odd one out and why: Mr K, Bashers, Nuclear Bombs, or South America?

[Minim]

Q: What do you get if you multiple nix by sine?

Fifty-Four? http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/laugh.gif" alt=":D" title="Laugh" class="smiley" /> (Supposed to swap the two capital F's but doesn't differ.)

[Minim]

Q: Which is the odd one out and why: Mr K, Bashers, Nuclear Bombs, or South America?

A: Mr K. He's a user on the lemmings Forums! http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/winktounge.gif" alt=";P" title="Wink-Tongue" class="smiley" />
Q: How many different skills does a lemming need to change a light bulb?

[namida]

A: Builders to get to it, bashers or bombers to remove the old ones, blockers to hold the new installer in place... then they're screwed. There's no skill to let them place a new one.
Q: What should the lightbulb-installer skill be called?

[Minim]

A: Electrocuter? http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/huh.gif" alt="???" title="Huh?" class="smiley" /> Otherwise, not sure.

[Dullstar]

Lightbulber!  http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/laugh.gif" alt=":D" title="Laugh" class="smiley" />

[namida]

You forgot to ask a question.

[Minim]

I am the culprit. Because I answered your question first. Back to the quiz!
Q: Which colour is the odd one out? Red, Yellow, Green or Blue?

[namida]

A: Both red AND yellow, because combining them doesn't sound like "grue".
Q: A man is born in Argentina, grows up in Russia, lives in Canada, retires in Australia, and dies in China. What colour are his socks?

[Minim]

A: Black
Q: What is the area of an ice hockey pitch (Minus the goalposts)?

[namida]

A: Everything inside the fence that isn't a goalpost.
Q: Pirates or Ninjas?

[Minim]

A: Pirates! (We should take a poll actually)
Q: Where does sound come from?

[Dullstar]

A:  Sound sources
Q:  Why is the big bang called the big bang?

[Minim]

A: Because something exploded
Q: What was that something that exploded?

[Dullstar]

It was the something that exploded.
What is 97256+4126+04752+75+75624+647+527+527564?

[Minim]

It was the something that exploded.

WRONG! http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/winktounge.gif" alt=";P" title="Wink-Tongue" class="smiley" /> It was the universe!

A: 710571
Q: What is the 119th element of the periodic table known to be called?

[Dullstar]

A:  Blargilicious?
WRONG?!  This is the "ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer" thread!  The answer doesn't have to be serious!
Q:  Why do forums support text?
The question doesn't have to be serious either...

[Minim]

A: Do you mean "Text support forums"?
Q: What is the capital of Washington, DC?

[Dullstar]

A:  Washington, D.C. IS a capital! http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/laugh.gif" alt=":D" title="Laugh" class="smiley" />
Q:  How many smileys are used in this question?

[namida]

A: Despite none being present in the final product, at least 7 smileys were harmed in the making of it. You heartless bastard.
Q: How many people on earth are older than John McCain?

[Minim]

[Uhh... Namida, watch your language please. http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/angry.gif" alt=">" title="Angry" class="smiley" /> I won't answer this question or either MAKE a question unless you change the swear word in your last answer.]

[namida]

... It's clearly used as a joke, and "bastard", if even a swear word at all (I don't believe it is), is a VERY tame one. On top of that, the whole "omg, bad word" attitude is very out of date. A word, bad or not, used in an offensive context, is fair enough. But tell me - is there any real difference between saying "What the heck" or "What the [F-word]"? And, is "Go screw yourself" really any less offensive than "Go [F-word] yourself"? It's the way it's used, not the word itself, that should be worried about.

[Minim]

OK. I will accept "Go screw yourself" and "Oh My God" and "Heck" but nothing else.

[namida]

No, that's my whole point. "Go screw yourself" is no less offensive than "Go [f-word] yourself", it simply uses a different word to express the exact same meaning.

Anyway, let's get back on topic... reposting the last question:

Q: How many people on earth are older than John McCain?

[Dullstar]

How many more forum games do you plan on ruining!   http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/angry.gif" alt=">" title="Angry" class="smiley" /> http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/angry.gif" alt=">" title="Angry" class="smiley" /> http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/angry.gif" alt=">" title="Angry" class="smiley" />

[Dullstar]

... It's clearly used as a joke, and "*******", if even a swear word at all (I don't believe it is), is a VERY tame one.

That's a bad word, and it's not tame at all.

NOTE:  I have tampered with this quote for obvious reasons...

[Mr. K]

No, that's my whole point. "Go screw yourself" is no less offensive than "Go [f-word] yourself", it simply uses a different word to express the exact same meaning.

Anyway, let's get back on topic... reposting the last question:

Q: How many people on earth are older than John McCain?

Namida, I'm on your side.  I don't really care about swears.  We've all seen them before, and I've gotten to the point where I'm not even close to offended.  The way I run this forum, I couldn't care less whether you use 'em.  We just have a few people that need to lighten up and learn to ignore.

Btw.  I'll continue the game.

A: None

Q: Hey is that a three-headed monkey behind you?

[Minim]

A: No, it's a spider crawling along my bedroom wall.
Q: How fast can a lemming run a mile?

[namida]

A: It depends on whether it has to climb walls along the way.
A: Why does this question have an A instead of a Q?

[Minim]

A: I's just a statement, probably
Q: What is the opposite of Knight?

[namida]

A: Kday.
Q: What did you just lose?

[Minim]

A: My spider from yesterday.
Q: How many vases grow flowers?

[namida]

A: None of them. It was actually the ducks.
Q: Why did 7 8 9?

[Minim]

A: Because 9 1 2 7
Q: Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?

[namida]

A: Because triangular boxes would be weird.
Q: Quack?

[Minim]

A: I know who's speaking!
Q: How white is the white house?

[Dullstar]

A:  White enough to be classified as white.
Q:  What is going to happen to the question after this one?

[namida]

A: It will get answered.
Q: Will it really?

[Dullstar]

A:  Yes
Q:  What is the BBC Code for "wink"?

[namida]

A: [wink]
Q: Why doesn't it work?

[Dullstar]

A:  Because wink is a smiley...  it's code is actually

Code: [Select]

.
Is that even BBC Code at all?
Q:  Why is the "cloud" a dumb idea?

[namida]

A: Because clouds can be shaped like body parts. Such as hands.
Q: If I have three fingers on one hand and seven fingers on the other hand, how many hands do I have?

[Minim]

A: Two. (two easy!)
Q: What is the short form of seconds?

[namida]

A: Secs. Hobos often measure time in "bum secs".
Q: Did the last coin you flipped land heads or tails?

[Minim]

A: I left it standing up.
Q: I did a science experiment when my flame went pink. How did that happen?

[namida]

A: Because of potassium chloride being present in an object inside the flame. Science. It works, bitches.
Q: Do ducks contain high levels of potassium chloride?

[Minim]

A: I think they have potassium without the chloride. If the were they should swim in swimming pools.
Q: Do you prefer dust, feathers or tongs?

[namida]

A: I dunno. Ducks?
Q: What's a dingo on a bike?

[Minim]

A: Bingo! http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/laugh.gif" alt=":D" title="Laugh" class="smiley" />
Q: What numbers are on my invisible lottery ticket?

[namida]

A: 42. Nothing else. Just 42.
Q: Do Americans eat ice cream on Wednesdays?

[Minim]

A: No, they eat on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Q: Where is Maple Valley?

[Dullstar]

A:  At Maple Mountain.
Q:  A program used to browse the Internet.  {surprise, this sort of is a question...}

[namida]

A: Quadratic formula.
Q: What do you get if you multiply the quadratic formula by Pythagoras's thereom?

[Minim]

A: Too many squared answers.
Q: What do you get when you mix an old lady with a large tambourine?

[namida]

A: Barack Obama.
Q: Why?

[Minim]

Don't know. I thought you were going to say Salvation.
What do you get when you mix an old lady with a large tangerine?

[namida]

A: Snakes on a Plane.
Q: Are there mother flippin' snakes on this mother flippin' plane?

[Dullstar]

No.  The plane was deemed lifeless five seconds ago.
What is the purpose of competition in a market and why is it good?

[namida]

A: The purpose is to offer prizes to consumers in exchange for acheiving well in the competition, and it's good because it means we get free stuff.
Q: Does free stuff pwn?

[Minim]

A: Nothing's free in my shops
Q: What are the numbers on my invisible lottery ticket?

[namida]

A: 31. Nothing else. Just 31.
Q:

[Minim]

A: We'll stop if you want to, otherwise answer this question.
Q: What's the most addictive healthy drink?

[namida]

A: V. Ignore all those who say it isn't healthy.
Q: Do you drink V?

[Minim]

A: V for Vodka? I don't drink Vodka
Q: Can a lemming get through a Squeeze Machine?

[namida]

[No, V is the name of an energy drink!]

A: No, but 50 more can get past while that one distracts the machine.
Q: Do girls fart?

[Minim]

A: Yes! But some of their lovers hate it though...
Q: Is answering a question harder than asking a question?

[Dullstar]

In this topic, no.
Am I running low on ideas for stupid questions?

[namida]

A: No, you just can't get most of them out of your head and onto the forum.
Q: Why do builders start making clickly noises for the last 4 steps in the Sega version, instead of the last 3 like everywhere else?

[Minim]

A: It just shows that Sega Lemmings is different brand to the original lemmings.
Q: I have a wishbone, a piece of foil and an elastic band. What did I make?

[Dullstar]

A:  A wish related to a combination between tin foil and an elastic band.
Q:  What is the subject of this post?

[GigaLem]

A:you Ask a stuped quest and someone STUPEDLY awser it
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:Why is there a bomber skill in the game

[namida]

A: Because they felt the need to allow lemmings to blow up.
Q: Why isn't there a Rickroller skill in the game?

[GigaLem]

A: BECUSE people hate to be RICKROLL'd GOSH DANG IT
-------------------------------------------------------
Q:What is the difrence between infinity and Pi


BTW i thougt the answer  to my question was this
(Because lemmings are terrorists)

[namida]

A: You can't eat infinity.
Q: Why did you try to answer your own question?

[Minim]

A: I was to make a joke.
Q: Why am I awake at this time of the morning?

[namida]

[Sorry for re-using a previous answer, but it's too tempting not to.]

A: Because you touch yourself at night.
Q: How many dinosaurs did you kill this time?

[Minim]

A: Twenty-six dinosaurs, exactly.
Q: 31 was not on my invisible lottery ticket. Why not?

[Dullstar]

A:  Because it wasn't.

A:you Ask a stuped quest and someone STUPEDLY awser it

Q:  What makes the quoted answer incorrect?


HINT:  Check this post.

A:  A wish related to a combination between tin foil and an elastic band.
Q:  What is the subject of this post?

[Minim]

A: A true question.
Q: If an object is maple colored on one side and bottle colored in the middle, what's the color inside?

[Dullstar]

A:  Some colour that cannot be seen by any known creature in the universe in any circumstances whatsoever.  The mysterious colour known as:  asdfawertqergbadfgaergtya aef
Q:  How was this colour named?

[Minim]

A: By the Ancient Greeks:
Q: Was there snow somewhere?

[namida]

A: Yes, but only sometimes.
Q: Did the ancient greeks eat food?

[Minim]

A: Yes, especially Cherry Pie.
Q: If there is something called a spider plant, why isn't there such thing as a beetle plant?

[namida]

A: Because cat food isn't made from cats.
Q: How many bottles of coke does it take to change a lightbulb?

[Minim]

A: Five?
Q: How many mouse clicks do I do every day?

[GigaLem]

A:300 a day 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 YOUR WHOLE LIFE
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:How many minutes dose it take to ride your bike to school with square wheels

[Dullstar]

ꝏ
This sign is what?

[Minim]

A: A road sign from Tanzania
Q: What is the purpose of the meaning?

[Dullstar]

A:  To get to infinity.
Q:  If there is no question, then what is the question?

[Minim]

A:The question is the one listed below (P.S. it must be stupid like this one)
Q: If you mix a shopping bag with a tent, what do you get?

[namida]

A: A duck on wheels.
Q: How many wheels should a duck have, on average?

[Minim]

A: about 6. Each one for the claw of their flippers.
Q: Which is the odd one out? Monangle, Biangle, Triangle, Quadrangle.

[namida]

A: Quintrangle.
Q: What is the answer to this question?

[Minim]

A: Here!
Q: Why do I have a creaky floor?

[Dullstar]

A:  You asked for it.
Q:  How many icons are on my desktop?

[GigaLem]

A: 37⁹
----------------------------------------------
Q:Witch one is diffrantlem lem lem lem lem lem len lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem lem


Btw Some didn't answer my last question

[namida]

A: The 6th one. Which is stupid, because this means my hints lied to me.
Q: What do you get if you multiply a spanish priest by a pair of binoculars?

[Minim]

A: A Spanish omelette sandwich
Q: How cold is a boiled ice cube?

[namida]

A: At the very least, 100 degrees. Below this, it isn't boiling. Unless you're one of those people who uses farenheit, in which case, 77.339 degrees, because also the boiling point of water is different in Soviet America.
Q: Why is the boiling point of water different in Soviet America?

[Minim]

A: Because Soviet America made a brand new substance and called it water
Q: I landed something in a plant pot. What happened?

[Dullstar]

Giga, your question was answered, with the infinity sign.
A:  The plant ran away.
Q:  Where did it run off to?

[Minim]

A: A place where it stayed there
Q: Why do acid lemmings have green bodies?

[namida]

A: Because they feel sick from too much acid, duh.
Q: How many lemmings does it take to change a lightbulb?

[Dullstar]

A:  A more appropriate question is "How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lemming?"
Q:  How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lemming?

EDIT:  Changed wording to be consistent with previous question.

[namida]

A: Your mom LOL.
Q: Why wasn't that funny?

[Minim]

A: Because you forgot your joke from yesterday
Q: Why do deodorants smell?

[Dullstar]

A:  They have invisible noses.
Q:  What is the answer to this question?

[namida]

A: Forty-two.
Q: What isn't the answer to this question?

[Minim]

A: Fourty-two
Q: How much cotton wool can fit inside a speaker?

[namida]

A: Some. But not that much. Just some.
Q: What ONE skill is missing: Climber, Floater, Blocker, Bomber, Builder, Basher, Miner, Digger.

[Pooty]

A: Turner.
Q: How much is that Lemming in the window?

[Dullstar]

A:  The combined value of a million of every currency known to mankind!
Q:  What is asd;l'kfjaes goijhgsf;bojadh;fgkljads ;lfjahwtpj qn;vakjdsfgads;lkj fkljighe43jihter?

[namida]

A: An ASCII art image of Rick Astley as viewed by a person who's drunk too much and has 38 STDs on Fridays (but only 17 on other days).
Q: Did that make cents?

[Minim]

A: I'm back!
Q: What did I miss?

[namida]

A: Nothing, but you lost the game.
Q: When is a beer not a beer?

[Pooty]

A: When it's still in the glass.
Q: How many cans of lager does it take to change a lemming?

[Minim]

A: Turner.

Poot, you're referring to 3D Lemmings aren't you? Don't be serious in this quiz. You should have said Nuker. That's a skill which occasionally gives you 100%.

OK. Return to the quiz

A: Minus one. Cuz lagerz dont werk
Q: What letters are in the betabet?

[Pooty]

Poot, you're referring to 3D Lemmings aren't you? Don't be serious in this quiz. You should have said Nuker. That's a skill which occasionally gives you 100%.

But Nuker was what I was trying to avoid saying, because I felt it was too obvious. Then I remembered 3D Lemmings. http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/laugh.gif" alt=":D" title="Laugh" class="smiley" />

Oh well, let's forget about that.

A: uɯoןdʞbɾɹısɥʇƃnɟʌǝʍpxɔʎqzɐ
Q: What's that thing doing in my pea soup?

[Dullstar]

A:  Being in your pea soup, that's what!
Q:  What is wrong with this question?

[namida]

A: The answer is wrong.
Q: How big is Barack Obama's snake? And by that, I mean the actual pet snake he owns.

[Pooty]

A: Slightly larger than the Bush it devoured.
Q: What 'Q' R U?

[Dullstar]

A:  Some random species...
Q:   http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/huh.gif" alt="???" title="Huh?" class="smiley" />  <-- You aren't expected to understand that.

[namida]

A: Dingoes.
Q: XKCD?

[Dullstar]

A:  Awesome webcomic.
Q:  Syntax error!

[namida]

A: Is that a question?
Q: 5 / 0 = ?

[Dullstar]

A:  Yet another syntax error, just because I said so!
Q:  BSOD or Kernel Panics?

[GigaLem]

A:nuking jiffy pop in the micorwave
----------------------------------------------------
Q:Would you explode egg'ws in the micorwave
or a diet soda fountain in your house

[Dullstar]

A:  Make grammatical error stew.
Q:  What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

[Minim]

(150th post on this topic!)

A: A sensible answer which means something
Q: In what way do eggs behave similar to lemmings?

[Pooty]

A: They explode in a microwave.
Q: How many men live in No Man's Land?

[namida]

A: One, his name is No.
Q: Who farted?

[Dullstar]

A:  According to your post in Good thing of the Day, you.
Q:  Am I up late?

[GigaLem]

A:Yes becuase that was a great party last night
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:Anybody SUPER sticous?

[Minim]

A: Did u meen "Anybody for SUPER stickers?
Q: If witch-hazel is good for you, why is itch-hazel bad for you?

[namida]

A: Because it's not bi*CONNECTION DIES*
Q: Did you just lose the game?

[Pooty]

A: Yes, I have just lost the game.
Q: What is the answer to namida's riddle?

[namida]

A: The game.
Q: Who are all your base is belong to?

[Fernito]

A: The game.
Q: Who are all your base is belong to?

A: Us
Q: Who are you?

[Dullstar]

Q:  Someone staring at a computer screen.
A:  Am I using a new keyboard or a really old keyboard, or in between?

[GigaLem]

A: (deep voice)A KEYBORD FROM THE FUTURE! *ECHOS*
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:If Spongebob was made out of cheese and hes in the oven what whould you do?

[Minim]

A: Because I like grilled cheese I would take him out of the oven, onto the grill and eat him inside a sandwich for lunch.
Q: Is that because I like SpongeBob?

[namida]

A: No, it's because you're a plank of wood!
Q: Why is minimac94 a plank of wood?

[Minim]

A: Because the plank of wood is an expression for somebody being teased.
Q: In what other ways do eggs behave similar to lemmings?

[namida]

A: They explode.
Q: What is your opinion of cheese rolls?

[Minim]

A: Mice eat them without the roll.
Q: What name dos God scream when he stubs his toe?

[namida]

A: The same one that Santa, the tooth fairy, and so on, would scream.
Q: How is your mother?

[Dullstar]

A:  Fine.
Q:  There's a mouse in my house!  What kind?

[Fernito]

A:  Fine.
Q:  There's a mouse in my house!  What kind?

A computer mouse, unless you're browsing the internet just with a keyboard.
Q: If two plus two is asdf, then two times two is?

[Pooty]

A: asdf, because 2+2 = 2x2. http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/laugh.gif" alt=":D" title="Laugh" class="smiley" />
Q: If Heinz made a flying saucer, what flavour would it be?

[Dullstar]

A:  Tomato
Q:  Or would it be?  What are your thoughts?

Q: If Heinz made a flying saucer, what flavour would it be?

[Minim]

A: Beans, Cos beanz meanz heinz
Q: If you drink holy water and take a whiz on a vampire, will you kill him?

[Dullstar]

A:  Yes.
Q:  ...Or does it just mean the subject line messes up?

I fixed the subject line though, it looked weird in the posts thing.

[namida]

A: It can mean that, but that doesn't mean it will. It decides at the time whether or not it wants to mean that, and has the free will to perform either way.
Q: Are you like a boss?

[Proxima]

A: I am a boss (namely Proxima from Iji).
Q: How many roads must a lemming walk down?

[Minim]

A: 83.
Q: We are getting close to something. What is it?

[Dullstar]

According to my watch, 3:40 PM.
And how many seconds?

[GigaLem]

A:240000
Q:Lemmings+EEnE sounds+objects=?





One day i looked at the fourms on the WII

[Dullstar]

A:  Gibberish in the snow.
Q:  What's EEnE?

[Pooty]

A: Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy.
Q: DEAD+BEE=?

[Dullstar]

A:  Soon to be the little insect that was annoying you five minutes ago.
Q:  KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRTbuntu?

[Liebatron]

A: No thanks, I prefer Croissants to KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRT buns.

Q: When are the gnomes?

[GigaLem]

A:STOP STARING AT ME
Q:World ends 2012 or [size=9]5MILLON YEAR LATER![/size]

[GuyPerfect]

A: Is that a question?

Q: Do brown cows make chocolate milk?

[Pooty]

A: Of course! Brown cows are made of chocolate!
Q: Did you take some pictures of the fascinating witches who put the scintillating stitches in the britches of the boys who put the powder on the noses of the faces of the ladies of the harem of the court of King Caractacus?

[GigaLem]

A:What?!
Q:Where should that arrow be pointing on a im with stupid shirt

[Liebatron]

A: To the West, haven't you heard that song before?

Q: How are a Raven and a Writing desk both similar to Admiral Horatio Nelson?

[Dullstar]

None of them ate speakers every night for dinner as far as the general public knows.

What if they did???

[asbaarle]

A: Fiddlesticks!
Q: Why are there so many Tuba players in phone booths these days?

[Liebatron]

Answer: It's the only place soundproofed enough that they can practice without disturbing the peace.

Question: Why does tautology exist?

[Dullstar]

A:  Because everyone DIED.
Q:  Why did everyone die?

[Clam]

A: Calendar was two and a half years out.
Q: Does sense none this why make?

[Burned]

A: Not at all. tihs qotseuin is so cfnosunig, and so is tihs aenswr. It is so wierd.

(Not at all, this question is so confusing, and so is this answer. It is so weird).

Q: How do you paint the whole world red?

[GigaLem]

A:Send out all of the airplains in the world And tell them to drop all the paint
Q:What does namida do on his day off

[Minim]

(I in the UK are celebrating Red Nose Day today, so let's humour things up by playing this old game)

A: He decides to play croquet.
Q: Why are raincoats not made of wood?

[Clam]

A: Because it obviously wooden work. *groan*
---
Q: Why did it take 998 days to answer the previous question?

[Luis]

A. The thread was sucked into a blackhole and it found it's way back 998 days later.

Q. Why Lemmings keep falling into another entrance to a dungeon, after going through an exit?

[Minim]

A: Because they decided to get lost, those poor creatures
Q: Why don't Lemmings eat tofu?

[Luis]

A. Because they never found such a food. Put it in front of the exit and line it up on the ground. Don't make a big pile, or they'll turn around from it.

Q. Why clouds never fall on us?

[Clam]

A: Just to be different to all that boring gravity-affected stuff.

Q: We'll never know who stole the cookie from the cookie jar. But who put the cookie in the cookie jar to begin with?

[GigaLem]

A:No one knows that either
Q:Why do i have nothing to do?

[Minim]

A: Because your house has broken down.
Q: What is so special about May 23?

[Clam]

A: It's the 0th anniversary of that post! Congratulations! http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/thumbsup.gif" alt=":thumbsup:" title="Thumbs Up" class="smiley" />

Q: How many Lix does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

[Minim]

A: Depends on the weight. Hopefully they won't make the lollies too heavy. Realistically, I'd say 4 per lolly.

Q: All Pingus have yellow beaks, so why does one Pingu have a red beak?

[namida]

A: Because he's in the closet, and uses a lot of lipstick.

Q: What evolutionary advantage is provided to lemmings by being able to explode?

[jammer64]

A: Dunno but evolution theory relates to Big Bang!

Q: Why am I too dumb to finish Crane's Thanatos? http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/laugh.gif" alt=":D" title="Laugh" class="smiley" />

[Clam]

A. Because the level is specially built to interfere with normal brain function, thus actually lowering your IQ while you play.

Q. Who really runs the forum these days?

[Crane]

A. The NSA.

Q. Why is Triple Trouble not in Mayhem?

[Simon]

I'm afraid this has a completely legit, non-stupid answer: It doesn't look daunting.

It's quickly apparent what you have to do. All or Nothing is also obvious to solve in mind, but All or Nothing makes it immediately obvious too that it'll take several tries. Triple Trouble doesn't look like taking several tries to execute.

Stupid answer: They were afraid of the user reaching the fourth copy of WAFD, and had to put a hard level earlier in the same rating.

Q: Why does ccexplore like the spinning hamster so much to use it as the only avatar he's ever had?

http://asdfasdf.ethz.ch/~simon/etc/hamster-3.gif" alt="" class="bbc_img" />

-- Simon

[Crane]

A. Because they're cousins of the most intelligent species on Earth.  All hail!

Q. What's 1 + 1?

[Luis]

A Lemming with two heads. They count as two saves when they enter the exit.

Why ghosts chase Pacman?

[namida]

The game is symbolic. The ghosts represent a group of gangsters, and the blue pellets represent a gun. You owe all the gangs money.

What to do if on a train?

[Minim]

A: Bash to the front of the train and steal the controls.
Q: Why must food be eaten to a person with a food allergy?

[namida]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W23LKD9Z1hw" class="bbc_link" target="_blank">Because you touch yourself at night.

What would happen if we nuked Mars?

[jammer64]

A: We'd have to scratch all the chocolate and caramel off ourselves.

Q: Why do lemmings wear blue pyjamas?

[Clam]

A: They got their laundry mixed up with the blue jeans and the colours ran.

Q: Why did I just lock this topic?

[jammer64]

A: You DIDN'T!

Q: Why didn't You just lock the topic?

[namida]

Because he realised he left the key inside.

Why is Rick Astley not a ninja?

[Minim]

A: Because he's a silky crate, and silky crates can't perform ninja-like actions.

Q: Why is a creme anglais not a musical instrument?

[namida]

A: Because it's missing the key ingredient.

Q: How many triangles in a lemming?

[arttu98]

A: Enough to survive an explosion.

Q: Why does this question glow in yellow?

[Luis]

Because it's a banana question.

Why the sun is on fire?

[Minim]

A: Because God created a clone of himself and made it explode.

Q: Why do we never wear a divorce ring?

[namida]

Because we have no money to buy it with, the ex-wife took it all.

What if cats could fly but only on Tuesdays?

[arttu98]

A: That would be a cat-astrophe.

Q: What's on your right side?

[GigaLem]

A: a black hole augh SH-Censored
Q: Why am I speaking in rainbows?

[namida]

A: Because you just lost the game.

Q: What if iPhones dualbooted iOS and Android?

[Clam]

A: An apple http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Android_version_history" class="bbc_link" target="_blank">ice cream sandwich. (Mmmm...)

Q: How do you escape from the zoo?

[namida]

A: Glasses and a mostauche. Only humans wear those, so they won't suspect a thing.

Q: Why is there no direct "Athlete" skill?

[Clam]

A: We tried training Athletes, but they misunderstood so they turned out to be Runners and ran away.

Q: How do you fit 80 lemmings inside a Christmas pudding?

[Crane]

A: The same way have four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.

Q: What happens to the lemmings who get caught in the vacuum cleaner traps in the bubble tileset?

[arttu98]

A: They turn into bubbles!

Q: How?

[Clam]

A: They get transported to Lemmings 3D world and become bombers. They even split into smaller bubbles!

Q: Why are lemmings better than humans?

[namida]

A: Because they don't waste time touching themselves at night.

Q: What if there was a Tractor Driver skill in Lemmings?

[Minim]

A: The Tractor may squash up all the other lemmings. Be careful out there.

Q: Why can't eggs be twisted open?

[namida]

A: Because the chickens superglue them shut.

Q: What if nuclear weapons did no damage, but just covered an equivalent area with really bad fart stench?

[Luis]

People will fire stink bomb missiles at each other and even sell them.

What time is it?

[Clam]

A: Not yet.

Q: Why isn't it yet?

[arttu98]

A: Because of invisibility power!

Q:

[namida]

A: The chopper.

Q: What's a truck doing in the middle of nowhere?!

[Pieuw]

A: Probably something it can't do at the edge of nowhere.

Q: What happens if an unborn dragon breathes fire into its own egg?

[arttu98]

A: Breakfast

Q: Why there is no steel in the bubble tileset?

[namida]

A: Someone decided to steel it. *badumtsh*

Q: What do you get if you multiply six by nine?

[arttu98]

A: 54, because there actually is such a number!

Q: What do chameleons do in free time?

[Clam]

A: Tongue exercises in preparation for their next Lemmings assignment.

Q: Because I skipped to the answer.

[Luis]

What's a glasses doing in my face?

[namida]

A: Their homework.

Q: What if we lived in a universe where poison made you healthy and medicine killed you?

[mobius]

the elevator would break and the munchkins would fall out and drive everyone crazy with their constant singing of poorly re-done Doo-Wop songs of the 1950's.

How can we kill the munchkins?

[namida]

A: Direct the yellow brick road off a cliff.
Q: ?

[Luis]

A: $$$

Q: Why today is my birthday?

[namida]

A: Let's just say it's related to something your parents found themselves doing about 25 years and 9 months ago...

Q: What if someone combined 3D Lemmings and Portal?

[mobius]

A: insanity and fun would ensue!  http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/party.gif" alt=":party:" title="Party Time!" class="smiley" />

Q: the bunnies is coming!!!!!  http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/scared.gif" alt=":scared:" title="Scared" class="smiley" />

[Luis]

A: Call those military worms.

Q: Is ketchup blood?

[GigaLem]

A: I'd better lick myself
Q:I'm standing in the air why am I not falling?

[namida]

A: You are breaking the law of gravity and the police are on their way to arrest you.

Q: What if a lemming tried to perform all 8 skills at once?

[Minim]

A: It would get an instant migraine, then it blows up and leaves all the tools behind.

Q: What has Clams got to do with Cranes?

[namida]

A: Clams are a secret power source used to make cranes work.

Q: What if there was a Farter skill?

[Clam]

A: It would be more useful than the Diver.

Q: Where does the time go?

[Minim]

A: It would be more useful than the Diver.

Aww... I was going to answer "It would make a popping sound similar to that of the Bomber", but I hadn't enough time. Anyway...

A: Inside a Clock instruction booklet.

Q: How many people in the world use METHYLCHLOROISOTHIAZOLINONE as their password?

[Luis]

A. That's what the Elephants uses. That's why their accounts have never been hacked.

Q. Why Lemmings can't build back into the entrance?

[exit]

A: Because they don't have any builders.

Q: Why can't you directly kill lemmings?

[Clam]

A. Because you're not http://www.lemmingsforums.com/index.php?topic=728.msg15741#msg15741" class="bbc_link" target="_blank">Rasputin.

Q. What if the cloner skill turned lemmings into Clones? (i.e, the characters from the game, Clones)

[Minim]

A: They would finally find a way to eat and drink - by gulping!

Q: How much does the construction of the lemmings world cost?

[exit]

A: Approximately 404 Lemmings Dollars.

Q: How were lemmings cloned?

[Prob Lem]

A: Ask http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_(sheep)" class="bbc_link" target="_blank">Dolly.

Q: Why on Earth were all the king's horses and all the king's men wasting their time on a careless anthropomorphic egg? Didn't they have anything better to do?

[Minim]

A: Because the men tried to teach the horses how to pick up this careless anthropomorphic (and probably hot and heavy too) egg.

Q: Why do we never see lemmings walking in cities?

[exit]

A: We do. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T3aWPfdIeAM" class="bbc_link" target="_blank">http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T3aWPfdIeAM

Q:Where do lemmings go after Rendezvous at the Mountain?

[Minim]

A: Heaven! The mountain in the middle is only the first few steps up towards Heaven.

Q: How many of us can spell METHYLCHLOROISOTHIAZOLINONE (27 letters) faster than the alphabet (26 letters)?

[namida]

A: The alphabet is actually only 11 letters. Some of which are repeats.

Q: What do lemmings do when they're not walking around a level anyway?

[Clam]

A: They post in the Lemmings Forums.

Q: What would happen if you put 60 lemmings in a Zorb and assigned them all the Roller skill?

[namida]

(Are people outside of NZ even gonna know what a "zorb" is? http://www.lemmingsforums.com/Smileys/lemmings/tongue.gif" alt=":P" title="Tongue" class="smiley" /> )

A: The lemmings would roll around the inside of the zorb, as if they themselves were minizorbs. You could say, in a way, that this is a form of zorb-ception.

Q: What if the Duck had walked up to a Lemmingaid stand?

[exit]

A:He would've asked for a pair of bricks(builder bricks), and the man would've threatened him with bombers.

Q:How come people are scared(-ish) of the number 13?

[namida]

A: http://www.neolemmix.com/old/levelimg/orig/0113.png" class="bbc_link" target="_blank">http://www.neolemmix.com/old/levelimg/orig/0113.png

Q: Why not 2, 30 and 11 also, then?

[Minim]

A: Because these three numbers haven't been considered by anyone as "unlucky for some", and also, they aren't dotringular numbers. (or whatever the technical term is.)

Q: Why do so many sports grounds involve so much material that looks similar to lemmings' hair?

[Prob Lem]

A: Well, the remains from the traps have to be used for something...

Q: If penguins are considered as flying underwater, then do other birds swim through air?

[KOManiacJim]

A: I think it is because the air is water and the water is air.

Q: What if a lemming is thinking about safety?

[Crane]

A: The universe would implode or you get something like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly-Hb_n584c" class="bbc_link" target="_blank">this!

Q: Where do lemmings go if they fall off the bottom of the screen?

[namida]

A: Hell. Or if they're already in Hell, then they go to Detroit. It's a South Park reference.

Q: What about when they go through the teleporter trap in the Crystal style?

[Crane]

A: They end up infesting New York City, along with Slimer, after Bill Murray's ghost containment system is deactivated by the EPA.

Q: Why do lemmings have green hair?

[Minim]

A: Because they either ate too much food with green food-colouring, or dyed their hair with chlorine.

Q: What if a lemmings level was based on a nightclub?

[exit]

A: It would be all dark and too hard to play.

Q: If only they could fly, what would happen?

[Crane]

A: There would be a lot of broken windows in London!

Q: Why the blue onesies?

[Mariachi Skeletron Prime]

A: There would be a lot of broken windows in London!

Q: Why the blue onesies?

A: Because red is tacky.

Q: How many lemmings does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[Luis]

A. Depends on how many skills it take to reach said lightbulb.

Q. Why the world is full of questions?

[Minim]

Q: How many lemmings does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

(If I answered that question I would've said 5 lemmings. One to build a stair. Another three are turned into blockers to keep the bulb still and the last lemming bashes the bulb to screw it in)

A: Because the world is full of serious answers, like for example Luis' answer to the previous question.

Q: What happens when you compare a group of lemmings with Pacman?

[exit]

A: You notice that pacman is fat and the lemmings are very thin.

Q: Why did the original lemmings come first, and not Oh No More Lemmings?

[Minim]

A: Because Oh No More Lemmings didn't look/sound/feel/smell/taste very 'original'.

Q: Why is there no timezone in the Lemmings world?

[exit]

A: Because if there was, there would be a stack overflow and your computer would get a huge five-second timer.

Q: Why is there a level called "all the sixes" and not "all the fives"?

[Luis]

A. 215 years ago there was a level called all the fives and turned into all the sixs in 1900. It will become all the sevens in 2100.

Q. Do Japanese candy taste like Japanese?

[namida]

A: No, they actually taste like French. The reasons behind this are unknown to either the Japanese or thr French, but Poland is suspected of having something to do with it.

Q: Can lemmings survive a nuclear winter?

[Minim]

A: Given the available skillset, I think they can. On the day before the nuclear winter one lemming needs to mine a hole deep enough to get everyone inside the burrow; then let someone else build stairs to block the hole. That way all the nuclear air will stay out.

Q: What's the plural for Koenigsegg?

[namida]

A: Koenigsegg-tachi.

Q: Would a hobo become a clown to eat the pies thrown at his/her face?

[bsmith]

A: Only as long as he has enough booze to wash down the pies.

Q: What does a lemming clown look like?

[Minim]

A: More like a mohawk, including a single strand of long hair on its chin, a pair of springy shoes and with balloons attached to its body.

Q: Why can't we all wear shoes the same size?

[exit]

A: Because lemmings are fake.

Q: Why is one of my clams a frog?

[GigaLem]

Because he ate a clam

what would happen to the lemmings forum on Halloween?

[NathanBros]

The date will show as October 31.

Witches are real?