Lemmings Forums
Off-Topic Boards => General Discussion => Topic started by: namida on July 08, 2004, 12:39:42 PM
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Remember this, from Lemmings Universe?
It seemed to be classed as "useless" and stuff, so I wasn't going to bring it over, but then I noticed someone else(Dumb_Lem, to be exact) had added to it, so I thought it might be worth continuing.
Anyway, you can add as much as you like at a time, but there is one rule - the sentence must never end! It doesn't matter how long it gets.
The sentence so far:
Once there was a chicken who climbed over a fence because of a dog eating slugs, and the chicken fell over the fence and squawked very loudly, very very very very loudly, so loud that in fact the slug eating dog was hired at the carnival and got absolutely no customers to come to his stand because no one wants to see a dog eat slugs for the same reason that the chicken crossed the road after falling over the fence, the reason being forty nine farts jumping over a cow's neck to endure forty bullets in the foot, proving the impossibility involved in creating a parallel universe without the powers of an insane devil mixed with the intelligence of a retarded holy spirit and...
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Don't exaggerate it! I have a limited traffic per month! X_X
edit: corrected it. Not bandwith, traffic!
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fell into a hole where beagles were nice to rabbits therfore denying their existence (and instinct to hunt rabbits...)
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and chickens could say the word "oblivion" on request, nullifying the need to expel bullies from Loser High School unless they raped their teachers with a stick or otherwise violated the school rules about sexual relations between cats and dogs...
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and those expelled went off and made a giant robot to kill all and turned it on, setting it to go to the Loser High School and destroy it, so that what the robot did, killing everyone it could, and creating chaos because the school held the plant together, so the planet split into trillions of pieces and sent the bullies far into space where...
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they all were in oblivion, and then they returned, and 99.9% of them have amnesia for 10 years, which was very painful, and the bullies were expelled, except for one, who did not have amnesia, and she said bad words, so...
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she was suspected of being 370's alternate form of existance, but she actually turned out to be the s|utty daughter of the world's best known retarded chicken farmer, Timballisto, who liked retarded chickens because they were more retarded than a retarded retard who liked retarding people whenever possible unless two plus two equalled sharks instead of fish...
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which made no sense so Mr Ksoft smacked everyone with chocolate cake until they were covered, making a huge mess, allowing Mr Ksoft to fly away to Moomoo Farm where he murdered cows but this made a reaction in the earth so it blew up again sending Mr Ksoft to...
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Mario Kart World where he landed in
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an extremely odd ferret
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which had a weapon that came with a Medevial Snack (from Shrek 2), so the ferret squawked out loud, then Mr Ksoft fell down the ferret into Mario's car, and Mario tried to knock him out, but Shadow the Hedgehog attacked him, ripped out his overalls, and saved Mr Ksoft, and the two of them ran out to Shadow's house, where...
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they went inside, panting for breath, and then looked out the window and saw a giant kart, belonging to Super Mario, who ran over the house, so Mr Ksoft and Shadow jumped and began eating the kart...
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while Timballisto's s|utty daughter was sleeping with Steaver370 for reasons unknown to anyone else even though everyone else couldn't understand why Steaver would sleep with such a s|ut, until someone asked him and he said "I didn't know she was a s|ut" but sounded as if he was lying because...
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he looked so anxious, so that someone slapped his face, and Steaver fainted, while when Mr Ksoft and Shadow finished, they became partners, so the two of them dashed across the paths and...
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killed "Miss S|ut", causing Steaver to get p-ssed off at them and attempt to murder them both...
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but ended up falling in a hole that was full of lemming tongues, snake eyes, web cams, and robot claws, so Steaver screamed, and Mr Ksoft and Shadow went out, and then the two of them dashed across the paths until they meet some lemmings that are a pain in the neck, but they just walked past them, and then Shadow stomped them all, then the two men walked into "The forest of death" and there were death traps, but the two of them were too fast for them and then escaped, then...
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the two men set fire to te woods, but there were huge amounts of TNT buried under the forest, so the fire blew them up, and it destroyed the world AGAIN, making Mr Ksoft and Shadow fly off the planet, where they grabbed onto a spaceship, not knowing what to do next...
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until Steaver came along and casted Haste, Protect and Shell on all three of them, and Auto-Life on himself, causing Subete Wo Koeshimono, aka Omega Gold Weapon, aka Nemesis, to come and use it's Armageddon attack, killing all three of them, but Auto-Life revived Steaver, and he summoned Yojimbo and used Zanmato, killing Subete...
(On a side note, "Subete Wo Koeshimono"/"Omega Gold Weapon"/"Nemesis" looks identical to the monster in my avatar, except that, obviously(because of it's second name), Subete is gold colour)
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, and Subete's two lives fell into Mr Ksoft and Shadow, then they revived, then the two men went back to earth, where they saw people insulting each other and saying bad words, because of Steaver's funny rule numbers 66-68, so Mr Ksoft and Shadow beat them all up, then...
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changed the rules and went to...
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...obliterate IceEagle's unobliteratable clone of a retarded dragon, but failed BECAUSE it was unobliteratable...
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And after the dragon had killed them, it then went on to kill more, and it was unstoppable, and all began to despise it, and then...
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without warning, Steaver put a knife through it's...
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heart, which caused blood to spurt everywhere, covering him, and then it...
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returned, to live again, causing...
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much distress amongst the common people, as it was free to terrorize them once more, and then
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it was banished to Hell by a retarded chicken...
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who, being the fool that he indeed was, thought this would kill the mighty creature, for he new not of it's ability to...
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suck the lifeforce out of all it met, which was unfortunate for the chicken, because it soon had no lifeforce, and then
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scolded Steaver, because he said the word h*ll, and no, the two heroes were not dead, they were just banished to Bangkok...
(You can't kill Mr Ksoft and Shadow, they're the heroes of the sentence!)
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, in which a million fates awaited them at the hands of their tormentors, the brutal and arrogent Bf'gannkiol, who where the demon-spawn of the abyss and thus thought themselves better then all the lessar demon-spawn, be they of the abyss or not, though those of the abyss where greater then those who where merely demon-spawn of the earth, there being few of those, and fewer still who lived where any may see them, as opposed to the lightless depths of the underground, feasting on the souls of the living and drinking blood at night with their stew, which was made by Skaarj as a special battle treat, usually reserved for the night of a Tournament, in which, of course the Skaarj where the winners, as opposed to...
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those who challenged them, who usually ended up blackened skeletons, which they didn't like at all, and which made them very uncomfortable when it happened, and then they decided to drink some weird stuff, which made them feel very ill, and then...
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along came Steaver and told everyone about his new girlfriend, Matty, then took out a knife and killed himself, so that he could return to life as the new Subete Wo Koeshimono, however his attempts failed and he returned to life as himself, exactly how he had been five minutes before death, except he had knives in the place of middle fingers, so he decided to try and kill Lem'ka, but that failed because she was busy trying to banish Andi to hell, which failed because he was busy trying to banish Timballisto to hell, which failed because he was busy trying to banish Tumbleweed to hell, which failed because he was busy trying to banish...
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all life to the deep dark oceans, which was a bad idea, because there was already life down there, and they may not have managed to coexist with the life, which was very unusual, and then he decided to burn his blood in a cauldron and find out what happened, and that caused...
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the Iron Skull Skaarj to get angry, and challenge the arrogent creature to UT2004, in which, everyone knew the Skaarj would be the winners, but some poor fools threw their lot in with Tumbleweed, which was a fool thing to do because Tumbleweed, as every wise person knew he would, lost the match to the Iron Skull Skaarj, and Clan Lord danced a jig as his creatures tore the Lemming team to bits and used their flesh to make their famous stew, which they gave to the Bf'gannkiol, who where outraged that Lemming had been used to make it, and started a war with the Skaarj, which was a bad idea, since the Skaarj are unbeatable, unless the challenger is possesed of a Flak Cannon and a double damage power up, neither of which where the Bf'gannkiol possesed of, and, since they knew not where to get such, their chances of winning looked slim, seeing as the Skaarj did indeed have super powered flak which they took from their mothership, before it was destroyed by human forces in the Human/Skaarj wars, and later by many teams of the Tournament, or not destoryed, for many of them failed in their mission, since the Skaarj are almost undefeatable, until one day...
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by freak chance, somebody found out their weakness, and then they defeated them, and went out to celebrate, and got mightily drunk on rum, and then...
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[How many times do I have to say stop saying bad words such as h*ll? &#A0;>:()
[And what Lem'ka said in the 5-word-stories, no putting other people's actions in. We feel hurt that way, Steaver370! :'()
Mr Ksoft and Shadow knocked out Steaver because he said the word "h*ll" and making other people do stuff then...
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everyone fainted and...
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woke up to a pink sky and sounds of 'oink' and realized a giant pig was floating in the atmosphere and were planning to..
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cook them all for its feast, and since it was having pork on the table, it was also going to be a cannibal feast, which made them shudder with horror, until they found out that it was all fake, and there was no real danger involved, they had only been hallucinating all this crazy stuff, and were in fact only in a deserted barnyard, which was bad enough, because they had no idea whatsoever where it was, and there wasn't even anything to kill, and that really annoyed them, and then...
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the giant trundle bug, Gort, came along and killed a barnyard hen, but...
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he stinks, so...
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the oblivious retard told him to cross the road, also telling IceEagle that hell wasn't a swear word, because it's a place where evil people go, according to Christians, which there is no proof that it is actually true, but there is no way to prove it is false either, therefore everyone wondered about what was true, and eventually decided to just play Lemmings...
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1st: Stop talking bad about other members.
2nd: Why is h*ll, a bad word?
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[H*ll is usually considered a swear word, so I suppose that is why it is a bad word...]
, but they all lost on level 17 of taxing, bacuse the said was a horrid place, untill a guy named Horus appeared and said 'Hachugi de paisann', so...
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[Just depends how extreme a Christian you are... assuming you are one]
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[Yeah, I guess. I don't think it's the worst thing you could say, certainly.]
they all picked up shovels, and started hitting each other, and then they fell through a rift in the ground and it closed over them, and then they were totally destroyed, and that was the last anyone heard of them, and ...
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thus when the famous historian Manckar Maglarn found their bodies, he was so surpised that he got on a train heading for L.A. instead of Chicago, which was were he had meant to go, and he was so angry that he shot the driver and...
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was arrested for crimes against the crown, as the bus driver was actually the King, and was sent to jail, and was almost hung, and ...
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was saved just in time by a clone made by combining...
admin: the Steaver-Meter is still growing!
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vile lifeforms and juice, and they were sent to kill the man who killed the King, and they didn't succeed, so they...
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bacame powers of their own among the Baatezu devils, seeking power and wealth, which of course, they did not get, however...
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they did get something much better, in other words great ratings, so they were happy, and went on their way, and then...
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an evil psychopath killed them, sending their taint BACK to Bhaal, thus...
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destroying any chance of the demons cursing at him any longer, and then they decided to do more murder, and blood flew everywhere, and...
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Steaver: Keep this stuff elsewhere! >:(
while Timballisto's s|utty daughter was sleeping with Steaver370 for reasons unknown to anyone else even though everyone else couldn't understand why Steaver would sleep with such a s|ut, until someone asked him and he said "I didn't know she was a s|ut" but sounded as if he was lying because...
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evil jims invaded the world and set up an evil regiem that annihilated all universes, and then people took refuge in Lemmings Universe, where defenses were set up and a revolt was being planned...
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because those who said bad words are punished, so...
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that they may say no more bad words after the Black Day of November, on which the sky turns black, and the hangings begin at noon, so....
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they all had a hideous shooting match of death, and most of them died before they could be hung, and then the rest were hung by the neck until dead, and then...
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Broken Khree entered the Deathmatch and was shot dead by Clan Lord, who...
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killed him quite thorougly with the flak cannon, and then they had even more hangings, and then...
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1,000,000 Lemmings where wrong about how many would be hanged, although the car salesmen said this could not be so, and...
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lemmy was happy,
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though this was a very foolish state to be in, as Lemmy realized when a robot came up to him and said "Remember me? I'm the robot from page 1!", and with those words, the robot...
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sliced him, diced him, and made mincemeat out of him in a few seconds, and then shoved him in the meatlocker, which was covered in blood, and oddly he could still see, and what he saw was...
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A light bulb, with a old man wearing a lab coat sitting next to it and eating chicken from a large glass bowl, whih struck Lemmy...
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into oblivion, so when Lemmy returned, he had lost 99.9% of his memory, and it was all in a crystal ball by the supervillain, who is a Game-Over screen...
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that kept appearing in front of G3K because nothing says you suck better than a game over screen, then someone called Ria Hart came along and said "This is my favourite book, what's it about?" not realising what a dumb question that was...
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he threw the book in Ria's face and ran away to
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a place where you should stop putting other member's names in the story...
(Steaver, stop putting members in the story!)
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, and were the old goose got stuck in the tree, and...
(Ice_Eagle, leave that to the modarators. I'm sure they'll do something about it)
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then the old goose fell down and died, so they cooked him and became roast old goose, so they ate him, but he didn't taste good, so they commited suicide...
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suicide didn't feel good so they commited suicide, this was bad so
(oops.sorry i almost accidentally ended the endless sentence)
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NOOOOOOO! Dumb_Lem! YOU ENDED THE ENDLESS SENTANCE! (Tears out hair)
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Dumb_lem, if you want us to continue the endless sentence, you must modify your last post.
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there, is that better?
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(Yeah, that better.)
a judge told them that suicide was a crime, so they didn't do it, because they loved the law like a 5th son, which they always thought would be a bad thing to have, so
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several pickles attacked them
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and ripped them limb from limb, which made a lot of people die suddenly, and
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then the pickles ate themselves, so...
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pickled eggs inc. went out of business
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and all their stock bacame worthless, which made Mr. Pickle very angry, as he owned 5,000,000,000,000 shares of it, and was
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the owner of nasdaq
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, which had also gone away on that day, ruining all his other stock, so
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then Mr. Pickle ripped out his hair, ate himself, and then his eyes rolled out to the outdoors for one year and soon reached Sonic, so Sonic picked them up and...
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ate them, much to the disgust of
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traveling insurance salesmen
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, who Sonic killed in the next round, but
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cats took over the world anyway.
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Tails and Knuckles picked him up and...
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dropped him off of a humongous cliff
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into the valley far below, where a guy named Iselore was already lying dead, and
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then Sonic sniffed him, and he smelled bad, so Sonic ran away to the top of the cliff, then...
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he jumped off the cliff again because it was fun.
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However, this time he broke his scrawny little neck in the fall, and
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then cracked his neck to make it better, then he ran across so fast, then he went home, and then Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Cream and Big greeted him a happy birthday, because it was Sonic's birthday, so he was now 16 years old, then...
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he decided not to save the world for two weeks,
(oops....again)
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Dumb_lem! You ended the endless sentence again! NOOOO!!!!! (shouts out loud that the whole world shakes like an earthquake) Please modify your last post.
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so the world was in misery for two weeks,
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then Sonic made the world happy in two weeks, then...
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a big evil bug killed a smaller evil bug, and
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a bigger evil bug killed the big evil bug, and the biggest evil bug killed the bigger evil bug, but the biggest, biggest, biggest bug killed the biggest evil bug, and then the biggest, biggest, biggest retarded chicken ate the biggest, biggest, biggest bug, but then the retarded chicken died and he spat the bug out and puked, so...
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he jumped off the cliff again because it was fun.
Dumb_lem! You ended the endless sentence again! NOOOO!!!!!! (stomps feet like the Hulk) Please modify your last post!!!!
Also, Lemeri, modify your post that you posted on July 26th, 2004, 5:03am.
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Ice_Eagle, quit ordering everyone around. It's their decision if they want to end the sentence or whatnot.
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Ice_Eagle, tell me what was wrong with the post I supposidly made on July 26th 2004 5:03 AM.
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@G3K: Okay. Sorry.
@Lemeri: On my last post, you saw Dumb_Lem ending the sentence. Then we're starting a new sentence. Okay, let's just start a new endless sentence.
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Let's not.
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Lem'ka, if you don't want one, just don't post on it. Other people might want one.
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when they hit the ground it started to move,
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and then the ground started shaking like an earthquake that millions of people died, then, 10 decades later, they were fossils, and then a Fumoon appeared, then...
(If you don't know, then a Fumoon is a new type of human, from a GBA game called Astro Boy: Omega Factor)
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pickles ate gas
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but then the Fumoon ate the pickle, and then she flew happily, then she flew to Astro Boy's homeland, which was made after the earthquake, and the Fumoon's name was Roccoco, then Roccoco visited Astro's home, and then...
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rabat is the the capitol of bamako and that should go in pointless info,
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You ended the endless sentence again, dumb_lem!
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people suddenly noticed that they had jetpacks on,
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then they blasted into oblivion, then...
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a piece of paper floated upwards,
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and it said that lemmings are very, very stinky, so the lemmings...
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killed the demon that lives in forums and updates old posts, so...
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then all Lemmings rejoiced by eating chicken, which tasted like korma, so...
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they threw it away, and it turned out it actually was korma, and...
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then started saying bad words, then...
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A Nali bought it and left, so...
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then Nali ate the chicken, but then spat it out, because it tastes like dung and korma, so then...
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everyone realized that Nali were actually a race that lived on the planet Na Pali, were first contact with the Skaarj had come, that being during the recovery of the prison transport vortex rikers,
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then they ended up in a swimming pool with lots of rules, which is a very big problem, so...
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they broke every one of the rules, and walked off to go crash the national NRA convention, but they got shot at it, and ran away to...
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the last line of defense which was
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...a no-nonsense can of Strongbow.
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(That was actually kinda something that needed doing, G3K)