Noble answers1. Would you like to be a male or female guest? No scoring, but your choice will influence future questions.
male: grams88, Minim, Timballisto, Akseli
female: Simon, möbius, Insane Steve, NaOH, ccexplore, geoo
No points here, but interesting reasons: NaOH is extremely happy to be female, putting the thumbs-up emoticon. möbius wants to be a woman with big berbs because he doesn't want to work anymore.
2. Welcome to the noble hall of this exclusive casino, where only the most dapper ladies and gentlemen What item of clothing is mandatory for the gentlemen here? Normal feud scoring.
suit (1 point): Minim, NaOH, geoo
tie (2/3 points): ccexplore, Akseli
top hat (2/3 points): möbius, Timballisto
monocle (1/3 point): Insane Steve
tuxedo (1/3 point): Simon
suit and tie (1/3 point): grams88
The subclass rule screws grams here. Even though both suit and tie were excellent answers, using both cannot be counted as either. Same for the tuxedo, I believe it's not synonymous with suit.
grams88: Suit and Tie, the men must look presentable and be as uncomfortable as possible.
Insane Steve: The most dapper of monocles. AND ONLY THE MOST DAPPER OF THEM
geoo: suit (though really I think it should be a top hat)
Yes, geoo could have chosen the top hat and still come out on top
hat.
3. What kind of drink do you choose at the entrance? Normal feud scoring.
martini (1 point): möbius, NaOH, ccexplore, Akseli
wine (1/4 point): grams88
beer (1/4 point): Minim
milk (1/4 point): Timballisto
water (1/4 point): geoo
champaign (1/4 point): Simon
Spyritus 192 Proof (1/4 point): Insane Steve
Dangit, martini seems like an obivous answer now.
Insane Steve: A LITERAL TEN GALLON HAT OF SPYRITUS 192 PROOF LET'S GET WRECCCCCCKKKKKED
möbius: martini [in the capybara pic] I also want to bet that I am wrong on this question, I wager 0.3 points that I will not get top answer.
No, möbius, you've lost this bet! But unfranchised gambling is forbidden, so you shall keep your wager.
4. Such a nice gathering of dapper Lemmings players. Secretly, you're looking for a date! For simplicity, we assume heterosexuality. Guess whether there are more, fewer, or equally many players of the other gender. You win 0.7 points if you're right. If you guess "equally many", you get an extra 0.3 points, no matter whether you're right.
We have 6 ladies and 4 gentlemen at this noble meetup.
male, guessing more (0.7 points): grams88
female, guessing fewer (0.7 points): geoo, Simon
guessing equally many (0.3 points): Minim, ccexplore
male, guessing fewer (no points): Timballisto, Akseli
female, guessing more (no points): möbius, NaOH, Insane Steve
NaOH: More male players. Just guessing most forum-goers will not cross-dress for this dapper event. And what do you mean heterosexuality is simpler? X-(
Insane Steve: More male players, but I mean if there aren't more this may say one of at least two things that are both equally awesome about this board.
grams88: More of the other gender, I hope this tactic works. *thumbs up*
5. Let's play Texas Hold'em Poker together, because that's a very emotional game, a good choice for fiery lovebirds. You're dealt a pair of aces. What are your aces' two different suits? Normal feud scoring, order of suits is ignored.
hearts and spades (1 point): möbius, Insane Steve, Minim, NaOH, Timballisto, Akseli
hearts and diamonds (1/2 point): grams88, ccexplore, Simon
spades and clubs (1/6 point): geoo
Minim: Spades and Hearts (Because they both look too similar)
Insane Steve: Spades and Hearts, let's lose to that idiot who flats a raise and 3-bet pre with 93 sooooted in clubs YEA
5. spades and hearts. I also want to wager 0.3 points that I will not get top answer on this question.
Möbius, you lose the bet once more. You must answer the feud more weirdly to win such a bet!
Of course, 5 happy lovebirds have called your raise and the flop brought a lovely 4, 5, 6, with two clubs. geoo stands to hit the double-runner flush!
6. Would you like to join the noble Gentlemen's Pipe Smoker's Club? Normal feud scoring, almost -- if you're female and join the club, you must buy a fake mustache before you're allowed in. The mustache costs 0.3 points, this is deducted from your overall score.
don't join (1 point): möbius, Minim, NaOH, ccexplore, geoo
join as a male (1 point): grams88, Timballisto, Akseli
buy mustache and join (0.7 points): Insane Steve, Simon
The Pipe Smoker's Club turned out just as attractive as the Baccarat table. After composing the feud, I felt unsure whether the penalty for longest Baccarat gambling was necessary. Apparently, it didn't entice everybody into smoking after all.
Insane Steve: Um yes, I mean as a biological male I'll grow a mustache, and then pur-stache the MOST DAPPER OF UPGRADES as the ultra-discerning male pretending to be a female pretending to be a male here
7a. If you're a member of the pipe club: How many pipes do you smoke at the club? You must smoke at least one.
7b. If you're not a member of the club: How long do you play Bacarrat, waiting for the smokers to return? You can play any number of full hours, including zero.
- Merged feud scoring: Answers to question 7a/7b from both groups are merged, then normal feud scoring applies to the merged answers. For this, x pipes is treated as equivalent to x hours of Baccarat. Exciting! In addition:
- Puff-Puff Duel Winner: If you smoke exactly 1 more pipe than another member of the pipe club, you win an extra 0.3 points.
- Desperate Gambler: If nobody plays Baccarat for longer than you, you lose an extra 0.2 points. For this, all pipe smokers play 0 hours of Baccarat.
0 hours of Baccarat (1/6 point): ccexplore
1 hour of Baccarat (0.8 points): möbius, Minim, NaOH, geoo
1 pipe in the club (1 point): grams88, Akseli
3 pipes in the club (1/3 point): Timballisto, Simon
420 pipes in the club (1/6 point): Insane Steve
Together, 1 hour of Baccarat and 1 pipe in the club were named 6 times out of 10. But only the 1 pipe scores 1 point, the 1 hour of Baccarat scores 0.8 points due to the Desperate Gambler penalty.
Despite trying very hard, nobody has won a puff-puff duel. But Insane Steve got eyeballs larger than the moon now:
7a) 420 pipes BLAZE THEM GET THE HIGHEST OF HIGH BLAZE ALL THE PIPES ALL OF THEM
7b) I'm pretty sure I walk into the baccarat room high and absolutely wasted and play 3 hours of this in the absolutely wrecked gambling realms, so yea. (Accept 7a answer. 7b answer is a joke and I'm pretty sure it didn't happen but I can't remember?!)
8a. If you're male: You may now flirt with the ladies and buy them drinks. Each drink costs 0.1 point. How many drinks do you buy for the ladies? A total of 2 points will be distributed evenly among those gentlemen who buy the largest number of drinks. A total of 1 point will be distributed amonst those who chose the next-highest occuring value. Beware, you can easily make a loss at this question.
8b. If you're female: How many drinks do you expect the men to buy for you? If all men have bought fewer drinks than your expectation, you win nothing, you demanding fury. Otherwise, you win 1/n points, where n is the amount of gentlemen who have bought at least your expected number of drinks. So, maybe you don't want to be the easiest girl around either.
8c. Screw this? Old video games are what's important in life, not dating? Regardless of your gender, you can take 0.3 points for free instead of answering 8a/8b. However, you'll probably make the dating game easier for others.
Only a single person bought drinks: Minim bought 5 drinks for a total of 0.5 points. Congratulations, you make a net profit of 1.5 points! All the real ladies, feud-wannabe-ladies, and female spambots on this board are throwing themselves all over you like walruses!
möbius, geoo, and Insane Steve win 1 point each for question 7b. möbius and Insane Steve guessed 2 or more drinks, geoo guessed 1 or more drink. Insane Steve felt inclined to reveal his subtle reasoning for all three questions:
8a) I am biologically male and would buy 0 drinks irl, but am FFuedly female so this is ignored
8b) There is a weird psychological barrier to "2 drinks." So, given that "at least" is the wording here, 2.
8c) I get blackout drunk and win a "Super Mario 3 no warps" race after the dating is done, despite being do wasted I transcend space, time, and biological sex here. (not taking 8c points)
grams88, Timballisto and Akseli play video games for 0.3 points each.
Timballisto: 8c. @#$% it - where did I put those quarters...
NaOH (guessed 6), ccexplore (guessed 6) and Simon (guessed 8) don't win anything here.
9. Exhausted and tired, you wind up with a decent partner in the taxi back home. Do you go to your place or to your partner's? Normal feud scoring.
partner's (1 point): grams88, Insane Steve, Minim, NaOH, Akseli, Simon
own place (2/3 points): möbius, Timballisto, ccexplore, geoo
Quite frankly, Q9 and Q4 were the only question in which I (Simon) did well.
geoo: my place (so I don't have to figure out how to get home at some point)
Insane Steve: Ummmm, partner, in some weird space time rift where I andfskdhjhefuioerufioeuo --passes out
Minim's closing words:
{I'm not into nightclubs so don't expect me to top this list}
Not at all, you're a nightclub king. You've made first place!
Total scores6.850: Minim
6.133: möbius
5.967: Akseli
5.800: NaOH
5.583: geoo
5.083: grams88
4.450: Insane Steve
4.300: ccexplore
4.217: Timballisto
3.817: Simon
What a hard feud, the next one will be easier for certain. Thanks for playing!
-- Simon