Well, since the old car is on the other side of the world, I can't really use it, even if it did work. So instead I just dog paddle nowhere in particular until I drown. My corpse is carried by underwater currents to the west of Scandinavia, where Aegir, the god of the sea, takes my soul down into the deep sea caves which he dwells in. After about a day, he gets tired of my annoying face, and the fact that I complain that there are no pies, other than the octopi pie, but I didn't like the sound of that one... so anyway he picked me up and threw me through the ceiling, and about 2,000 miles south.
...time passed and I decided maybe I could have settled for an octopi pie...
Since I was going so fast when I hit the ground, I merely broke through about seventeen layers of igneous rock, because for some unexplained and not needed to be explained reason, I was in my body again... but that really didn't matter, because Hades ripped my soul out of me. I was really upset with this sort of crossing over stage, so I began whining at Hades. He was used to this sort of thing, because I noticed that all the spirits down there were whining too, but he felt like punishing someone, so he sent me to go push a rock up a hill. I would have complained, but just then Hades got up and booted me across the cavern. While he was laughing, I bounced off the walls for quite some time...
...When I finally stopped bouncing and he finally stopped laughing, I was standing next to some old guy who was pushing a rock up a hill for the three fourteen millionth eight hundred fifty one thousandth four hundred sixty fifth time. I began pushing my rock up the hill, and quickly I caught up with the guy.
I said to him, "This doesn't seem to hard; we're already half done."
He then rested one of his hand against the rock, and with the other he pulled out five cards. It was a card trick, and I didn't like being tricked, so I ran up and tripped the guy. The old man and both rocks rolled down the slope, and he was crushed against the wall, but he merely stuck his hand out to say he was okay. I would have hurt him further, but just then Hades popped up behind me, and I began running...
...After running through a bunch of tunnels, I came to a three headed dog. I tried to juke so that I might fake the dog out, but it only tricked his left head, the middle one barked, and the right one bit my head off... but as you technically can't die in the underworld, I was just punished further. Apparently I was only supposed to push the rock up once so I could learn a lesson, but Hades wasn't even amused anymore, instead he threw an old copper shovel at my head, and told me to dig until the hole was deeper than the bottomless pit. I dug for what seemed an enternity, and I got fed up with this, so I climbed up the side of the wall, and just when I began to see some errie blue lighting like there always was in the underworld, my right hand fell off, and then I fell...
...Eventually I landed next to my right hand, and then I popped it back on, and climbed again, this time all the way to the top. But when I had finally arrived, it turned out time had ended. And the only person there was someone wearing what I always imagined Dr. Watson would wear, except this guy was a lot older. But what interested me a lot more than all of that was the fact the he was holding a blueberry pie in his hands, my fifth most favorite pie, just below pi, the greek symbol. Well, heck, I was hungry; I hadn't eaten in one time (literally). So I grabbed the pie and began eating it. Then I realized the old man had tricked me, and that looked kind of like the guy who had been pushing the rock up the hill.
It wasn't blueberry pie. It was crowbar pie! I was about the yell at the guy, but he kicked me through a door marked "paradox (kind of)". And next thing I knew I was sitting in a old car with no gasoline in it in the middle of the Sahara desert, nowhere near any civilization. Then all of a sudden these big pair tweezers came down and picked me up... That what you call a paradox (kind of)! But at least I had eaten a pie, even if it was crowbar pie, my seventh most favorite, just under octopi pie.
A copy of the game "Play Ball!". All it does is show stats from 1992 and earlier for the MLB.
