Random Story

[Ice_Eagle]

Also, let's not forget the random story! It's pretty fun!

Lemmy's best brother-like friend Xan Kriegor had disappeared into nowhere, and Lemmy felt very lonely. He was watching Over the Hedge on his TV in his house.

Suddenly, the TV...

[Isu]

switched off.
"Hey," Lemmy cried "What's going on?"
It was a question he soon regretted asking. In fact, he regretted saying anything at all...

[Chmera]

...when he discovered that his TV had been shot from behind with a pistol by a weird critter, which then ate him.

[Mr. K]

Lemmy felt very uncomfortable, but who wouldn't after being devoured by such a critter!  He sat around, slowly disentegrating for many days until suddenly, unexpectedly, he was deposited onto the pavement among some droppings.  A wheelchair went by at 80 mph and ran him over... again. (ha ha, reference to an entry I made into this 2 years ago!)

[Ice_Eagle]

Then he formed up himself again, but with lots of fluids from the critter's insides.

Lemmy got so angry. He chased the old person on the wheelchair and kicked the wheelchair into the sky.

Lemmy then cried and roared out loud: "WHY MEEEEEEEEEEE??? WHY DO PEOPLE HATE ME???"

Lemmy cried as a blonde woman sat down and played this song:

Smelly cat, smelly cat,
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat,
It's not your fault.

The woman was named Phoebe Buffay. Lemmy got really angry; he felt insulted. He was no cat, he was a lemming! And then, unexpectedly, he started to attack Phoebe Buffay by...

[Chmera]

Asphyxiating her with a giant rubber duck. She choked, died, and dropped a medallion of extreme plot significance.

[Mr. K]

But it instantly disappeared because the whole point of a random story is to NOT have a plotline.

Then, suddenly, CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE.

[Chmera]

EXPLODEEEEEEEEEEED.

Many people died because of this. Some potatoes then...

[Mr. K]

cooked themselves.  There was a great feast.

[Chmera]

Ch'mera ate almost all of it. The remains of the feast...

((Yay self-involving.))

[Ice_Eagle]

were eaten up by Lemmy.

Suddenly, somebody smacked Lemmy. It was a random person in a black robe! He clawed at Lemmy with his claws and blood trickled out, then took the rest of the potatoes.

Lemmy reacted by taking off the robe of the person. He was actually a skeleton!

Then, unexpectedy, the skeleton kicked the lemming into the sky!

[Chmera]

Lemmy died yet again when he hit the ground. Some foxes came and ate him.

[Mr. K]

Lemmy was in the middle of reincarnating a short distance away with a large grenade launcher when one of the foxes burped, causing a nuclear explosion that destroyed the entire area, which happened to be a nature preserve.  The only thing left was Lemmy, unconscious.  A park ranger found him (with his grenade launcher) and promptly had him arrested by the government.

[Ice_Eagle]

The park ranger was actually an X-Men Mutant in disguise. The mutant was...

[Chmera]

...actually in a coma. Somebody told him to do what he did. But who?

[Ice_Eagle]

Magneto!

[Chmera]

Somebody else could've got hurt, but a kitten did the Time Warp and all was well.

[Ice_Eagle]

Until Magneto slayed the kitty. Lemmy came right out, but Magneto choked him.

[Mr. K]

And then out of nowhere someone threw large metal blocks that were attracted to Magneto.   They bashed him and he died.

Lemmy fell and began to sing random songs.

[Ice_Eagle]

Specifically, he was singing the seventeen Lemmings Songs, the four Special Level songs, as well as the six Oh No More Lemmings songs, all in exactly one hour and fourteen minutes.

[Chmera]

The kitten respawned and did the Time Warp again.

[Ice_Eagle]

But the time warp did not work; instead, the whole world fell black.

The kitty died again. Even if he would respawn he cannot Time Warp again because he used it all up.

[Mr. K]

And Lemmy kept on singing despite this, until suddenly his head caught fire.

[Ice_Eagle]

It was because the fireblower from the level "A task for blockers and bombers" was toasting Lemmy's head, and Lemmy was sitting right under it!

Lemmy used his fire to burn through the terrain of the level until he reached the exit. He was now in the level "Builders will help you here," where he burned the left wall of the level and fell into the green pool, to take out the fire from the head.

But the green pool on the left was actually acid!

[Isu]

Lemmy's whole body started to melt under the ferocity of the acid. For the upteenth time he saw his life flash before his eyes.

In the distance, there was this green + symbol. It was floating towards Lemmy, Lemmy tried to make out the origin of this cursor, but he was too weak to see much of anything. The cursor got closer, closer, until it looked like it was going to split him in two. But it didn't. It instead, shapeshifted from a + shape to a [] shape.

"Why prolong it?" thought lemmy, "why prolong the inevitable? Just kill me now, don't drag it out, just put me out of my misery."

Lemmy closed his now seriously deformed eyes, waiting for it all to end...

[Ice_Eagle]

. But suddenly, he saw himself building out! The cursor told him to!

He was still in bad shape, however, as he was building out of the acid pool.

[Isu]

He remembered the Buildra's teachings; all bridges will consist of 12 bricks, no matter where you are, or how many you thought you had.

Lemmy had a dilemma. He was running out of bricks and had nowhere else to turn. He placed his 9th brick down, and the Cursor didn't care, it was elseware. As he placed the 10th brick down it made it place as loud as he could to try and get the attention of the Cursor. The Cursor still didn't come over. The Cursor still wasn't interested in him after he started placing the 11th brick.

"What's going on?" thought Lemmy, "First the cursor saves my life by making me build, then forgets that I'm gonna run out of bricks, so I'll fall into the acid anyway. I often wonder why I bother."

It's only when he placed the 12th and final brick that the cursor took any interest in coming back over.

"Well it's about time!" Lemmy said to the Cursor, "where the hell have you been?"

To lemmy's surprise the cursor responded; "Well, it's not easy keeping track of you and the other like-you's 500 pixels away, I was busy building them out of a pit, you know, pits are the worst..."

"Don't small talk me mister!" Lemmy choked, "Since when have a group of unendangered lifelings take priority over one that is just about to die?"

"Ever heard of the saying; "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few"?"

"That's beside the point!" Lemmy exclaimed, "I don't care if there were 45 other me's back there, I should take priority, because of the hazard below me!"

"If that's the way you're gonna take it," the Cursor motioned, "then I guess I'll just leave."

"No, wait. I'm sorry, I got carried away there." Lemmy apologized, "What do you want me to do?"

[Ice_Eagle]

The cursor clicked on Lemmy, and Lemmy builded again.

Lemmy made it into the level, and took the stairs that the other lemmings built.

But then, there was a 5 on his head. 4...3....

"What? CURSOR! WHY DID YOU CLICK ON THE NUKE BUTTON?"

2...1...

[Chmera]

Lemmy got to the exit just in time. He actually survived for a change.

He figured that, after being downright obnoxious last time, They didn't want him there again. He thanked his lucky stars for that, but...

[Ice_Eagle]

the stars threw tomatoes at him.

"Oh great," said Lemmy, "just great."

Lemmy ran off, but then he ended up with a giant computer. Suddenly, the floppy disk drive did something awful to him. It...
   

[Liebatron]

was horrible! The floppy drive sucked him into a vortex. Lemmy was thrown across inconcievably far distances by the power of the vortex. It was then that Lemmy realised what was happening to him. The only way such a powerful vortex could exist was if it lead to the one level that matched its strength, FINLAND!!! (for those of you who don't remember, or if he never posted it, Finland is a near impossible level, after 8 days practice and hard work, Timballisto got 98% saved..)
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! GET ME OUT OF THIS VORTEX!!!" Lemmy screamed while futilely trying to get back out of the vortex. he struggled with all his might, adnd to his surprise, he got out! But, all the computer parts being cooperative, the floppy drive didn't like that, so it  asked the cursor for a favor. Once again, while sitting on the edge of the vortex eating a popsicle, he saw the cursor approach him. He waved at it. It kept coming towards him, and when it was next to him, it said, "Why didn't you go where you were supposed to? you were supposed to go to Finland. Here, maybe you went through the wrong vortex." It nudged him back in..

[Ice_Eagle]

but the vortex led him to a Lemmings 3D level called Lemtris.

"Oh no," said Lemmy. "How do I escape?"

[EvilWeevil]

Suddenly, there was a creak, and a box opened, with lemmings pouring out. "Of course, I have to save the lemmings!" said Lemmy. After five minutes he got bored of working with these morons and typed in RASPUTIN on a nearby keyboard. Many dead lemmings later, he found himself being pulled into a new vortex with the words "OK, now do it properly" strangely echoing in his head...

[Ice_Eagle]

Then he landed in the level "Death Slide."

"Shoot," said Lemmy, as the box opened and the lemmings came pouring out. "I know! RASPUTIN!"

He went to another nearby keyboard, but accidentally stepped on the keys "Alt + Q."

"OH NO!" yelled all the lemmings, as they have 5-second-counters on their heads. Then they all exploded, making Lemmy get sucked into the vortex again, with the discouraging words:

Nuke them Lemm's

"NUKE YOU TOO, YOU LOSER!!!!" Lemmy yelled. He was back in the same level.

[EvilWeevil]

Lemmy was getting pretty sick of these lemmings levels by now, and decided enough was enough. He got out his pickaxe and went right to the front of the screen. With a mighty swing, the computer screen smashed, and lemmings began pouring out into the room beyond.

"Now what should I do?" Lemmy wondered.

[Ice_Eagle]

"I know! I'll destroy the levels! That way I don't have to work with the lemmings!"

And so he began destroying the Fun levels, starting with "Take a Dive." Some Fun levels were tricky for him to destroy, like "The Bean Machine," "Bounce, Bounce," "Lemmings Inside," "Castle Lemmalot," "Alpine Assault Course," and "Attack of the Fifty Ft. Lemmings."

As for "Slippery Maze," and "Aililemm's," he used bombs. The rest of the levels were destroyed using his pickaxe and other deadly weapons.

Then he proceeded to the Tricky levels. After destroying the first 6 Tricky levels he had to figure out how to destroy "Follow the Yellow Brick Road" the easy way.

Suddenly, Lemming Police Officers arrived and confronted him. "You are under arrest," yelled one officer, "for destroying 26 levels of Lemmings 3D."

"Oh really?" yelled Lemmy. Suddenly...

[Lemika]

He pulled a submachine gun out of his coat (which, needless to say, nobody had noticed he was wearing until that point). "You men are toast! You interfered with my demonic right to destruction!"
Lemmy poured the clip into them, and walked away humming. He still had to get out, but he felt far more satisfied. Soon he saw a flashing 'EXIT' sign before his eyes, and he quickened his step towards it.
He noticed that he was walking down a long hallway lined with doors, all alike. One by one the doors opened, and out of them came...

[Ice_Eagle]

many lemmings that were like this: 

Suddenly, they all bowed to him.

"What?" said Lemmy. As he watched the devil lemmings bow to him he was forgetting about his mission more and more.

[Lemika]

Lemmy stared at them for a moment. "Yes," he muttered. "Yes, you should worship me. I deserve worship." He let the submachine gun drop from his nerveless fingers and raised his arms high, laughing.
He heard a clacking noise behind him. He quickly scuttled through the first door on his left, slamming it behind him and leaning against it. "No! Don't come near me! You fiend!" Lemmy shouted, unaware of the irony of his words. The clacking noise continued inexorably towards the door. It was the sound that plagued his darkest nightmares. Lemmy crawled into the farthest corner of the room and hid behind an unidentifiable stack of objects. "No, no, no..." he whispered, holding his head.
The door opened. Lemmy didn't dare look up. He knew very well what he would see in the doorway. It would surely rend him limb from limb!
"Look at me, Lemmy. See the face of evil!" declared the thing in the door. Lemmy couldn't help but look, only to see --

[Ice_Eagle]

a fake toy talking mask.

"That's it?" said Lemmy in disgust. He then smashed it.

Suddenly, it continued talking in a deep, eerie voice:

"Lemmy...since you want to destroy all of Lemmings 3D you have to guide these devil lemmings and have them destroy all 80 levels. You have destroyed 26/80 so far. Now, go back to 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road,' kill the Lemming Police with your new worshippers, and then destroy the level, starting with the yellow bricks. Do I make myself clear? NOW GO!"

And so Lemmy and the devil lemmings went back to "Follow the Yellow Brick Road," to see the Lemming Police again. Then they attacked the police by...

[Lemika]

rending them limb from limb in a gruesome festival of blood and death. Lemmy thought this was mighty cool, so he cheered them on. They managed to chew through several levels in this fashion, and Lemmy grew more and more drunk on power. He had the strange feeling this sort of thing kept happening to him, but he was also sure that large parts of his past were missing from his memory.
When he had destroyed fourty of the levels, he ran into a bit of a stumbling block...

[Ice_Eagle]

in the level "Spaghetti Junction." He was now working on destroying the Taxing levels.

The splitter block help split the devil lemmings so they can chew up the level separately. Then the level was all chewed up.

Suddenly, other members of the Lemming Police arrived with signs saying:  ,  and

"NOT THIS AGAIN!" yelled Lemmy. "BOYS, GET THEM!!!"

Then the devil lemmings looked like this:  :mikedevil:

[Chmera]

, as a horde of Forumers, of this very forum, turned up. Most of them were glaring or yelling at Lemmy. He'd destroyed most of one of the games!

[Lemika]

Lemmy backed away, putting his paws in the air. "Well, hey, guys," he laughed. "Just be cool. I'm sure I can get all of this fixed up in due time. Y'know, I didn't mean to cause any real damage! Heh-heh!"
The devil Lemmings suddenly turned around and began advancing on him as well. Lemmy paniced and ran as fast as he could. As he tripped and slid down a long tunnel he could hear the shouts of the horde following him.
"Vile monster!"
"He destroyed Lemmings 3d!"
"That little creep! We oughtta torch him!"
"That's right, burn him!"
"BLOOD!"
Luckily, they were far behind him, but his future was far from certain.

[Ice_Eagle]

Suddenly, Lemmy had an idea.

He kept running through the Taxing levels, starting from "Picky Platform." The mob kept running, making them destroy the levels by accident. Some of the lemmings mob died in levels such as "Poles Apart," "3D - A Lemming Odyssey," and "If the Timing is Right!"

In "Rescue Team," however, Lemmy did not do so well. A devil lemming got him so fast and threw him inside a jail cell.

"Stay there!" said the devil lemming. "YEAH!" the others yelled.

Now Lemmy was stuck in the level, without anyone to rescue him. Not even the cursor was there; it was dead.

Lemmy was like this now: 

He was stuck in the jail cell for 5 days without food or water, crying while showing this: 

On the sixth day, Lemmy was skinny. He was almost dead, as he was unconscious. Suddenly, someone blasted the jail cell open, making Lemmy promptly open his eyes slowly.

"Xan?" said Lemmy weakly.

[Lemika]

"Hey, kid. Long time no see."
Lemmy stared, crouched in the corner of his jail cell like a wild animal. His hair was singed, and he felt half dead. "Xan! You ... you rescued me!"
Xan motioned for Lemmy to come out of the cell. "Hurry up, kid. We haven't got much time. I blasted most of those devil Lemmings, but they could be coming back at any moment."
"I'll kill them all!" Lemmy shouted, leaping out of the cage. "I'll bathe in their blood! I'll -- you happen to have any food on ya?"
"Here." Xan handed Lemmy a hot pepper sandwitch and a beer.
"Right, that's weird," Lemmy remarked. He did, however, scarf it down very quickly. "I feel like killing something, Xan."
"Here they come."
The devil Lemmings flooded in, waving their pitchforks and screaming. Lemmy threw back his head and laughed at them, preparing to enact the most devastating magic he knew...
... And then he realized he couldn't do anything. He stared. "What's happening? What about my demon powers?" He couldn't believe it.
"See, kid, I've been meaning to tell you," Xan began, clapping Lemmy on the back. "The rest of the Chaos Gods decided you shouldn't be having them any more. They gave them to me."
"WHAT?!" Lemmy, enraged, whirled around and flung bolts of ice at the devil Lemmings. "Impossible! I am the one who will destroy the universe!"
"You're going a bit overboard there, kid," Xan remarked. "Still, it worked. Let's go."
Lemmy blinked. He realized he had little comprehension of what had gone on, but then, that was normal. They made for Xan's starfighter and blasted off.

[Mr. K]

They flew to a nearby planet.  When the ship landed, Lemmy got out and was promptly assaulted by cheese triangles.  He ate them in self defense and got quite fat.  As he waddled along the now bare (except for a few crumbs) landscape, a freak dimensional rift opened up and Ted the evil alien appeared from exactly 743 days in the past.

Lemmy yelled "Oh #$%@!!!!" as the floor collapsed.  He fell into a pit full of lava where he was suddenly bound by ropes just as he was going to burn into a flaming mass.  He was in the exact same predicament as he'd been when he reincarnated a certain time two years ago!  He hoped that he could make his own nausea, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to slip out so easily this time.

[psst, reference the old LF's Random Story, July 13 2004, to refresh your memory]

[Ice_Eagle]

Suddenly, Lemmy got his demonic powers back and escaped from the burning lava, then fought with Ted.

"Er...me not Ted. Me Krall."
"WHAT THE HECK?" yelled Lemmy.

Suddenly, he remembered that he had not completely destroyed Lemmings 3D yet.

"Oh no! I forgot to destroy Lemmings 3D!"
"Don't worry, I'll do it for you."

It was Xan. He used one of his powers to destroy all the other Lemmings levels.

Unfortunately "Rescue Team" wasn't destroyed yet.

[Lemika]

Then Xan destroyed it. He'd left it just to tweak Lemmy, but he thought better of it.
"Get the Krall too!" Lemmy shouted, pointing a quavering finger at it. "It's been stalking me for more than fifty pages! It's gotta die!"
"Sorry, kid. No can do."
"What? I'll -- I'll kill it myself, then!" Lemmy looked around wildly for a weapon. He found...

[Ice_Eagle]

a glowing hot mace. He swung it many times on Krall. Krall exploded.

"Cool move, dude," said Xan.
"Well, he deserved it," yelled Lemmy.

Suddenly, exactly 56 yellow dragons surrounded both Xan and Lemmy.

"Use that mace," whispered Xan to Lemmy.

Then Lemmy swung the mace, hitting...

[Lemika]

himself in the head. He tumbled to the ground in slow motion, the mace flying out of his hand, as incredibly strange music played in the background. He retained just enough consciousness to see the dragons all start grooving to the music in slow motion. He tried to raise his hand, but he felt as if he was stuck in a tar pit.
Xan was the only one who didn't appear to be moving in slow motion. He picked up Lemmy's mace and walked up behind the largest dragon, bashing in its skull with one swift stroke. Blood splashed all over Lemmy, but he still couldn't move. The dragons turned around to stare at Xan, but they were too slow. Xan hurled the mace away and wasted them all with a minigun. Then he gave Lemmy the thumbs up and walked away.
"Wait!" Lemmy gasped. It seemed very surreal to him to hear his own voice in slow motion. The earth opened up under him, and he started falling. He got to see the different rock layers in very nice detail as he slowly fell, scrabbling at the sides. He landed at the end on what seemed to be a beech chair, though he was in the middle of a large cavern.
"Where the hell am I?" Lemmy wondered, looking around. He saw...

[Ice_Eagle]

Shadow the Hedgehog.

"Hello, Lemmy," said Shadow.
"Uh...who are you?"
"Name's Shadow."
"That's nice."
But then Shadow sped close to him, and then attacked him by pushing him out of the layers of the earth.

They were now in the forest, where Shadow continuously attacked Lemmy.

[Chmera]

He died yet again, and so did shadow when the Beast of Argh ate him.

[Lemika]

Luckily, Lemmy respawned nearby with a gun in his head. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to use a gun, so he threw it away. "My demon powers are all I need!" He declared.
"Really?"
Lemmy had no idea where the hissing voice had come from, but he whirled around and pointed in a random direction. "Yes! I can destroy your very SOUL with ease!"
A hideous monstrosity lurched out of the bushes and started clawing his back. Lemmy stole its soul.
A somewhat familiar looking demon in a cheap one-peice suit came up to him, and shook his hand. "Lemmy," it said. "You have done well with the powers I gave you."
"Wh-who are you? I seem to remember you... but I don't know... don't know from where!" Lemmy gasped, staring into the demon's twisted face.
"Aww, c'mon Lemmy! You know who I am!" the demon said, twirling a cigarette in one hand. It affected a strange accent.
"Oh! Yes. You're the demon who sold me my demon powers way-back-when (issue 26, remember?)!"
"That's right. Now, see, you've been makin' a little free with our bargain. I think we'd better review the paperwork." It reached around in its one-peice suit and pulled out a thick sheaf of paperwork. "Hmmm... hmmm. Let's see. What have we got here? Leroy? No, that's not you. Larry? Hardly... ah, here we are! Lemmy!" the demon brandished the papers triumphantly, letting the others flutter to the ground all around Lemmy.
"Bargain? I don't remember making a bargain!" Lemmy snarled. "I think I can take you now, you little punk. I'll kill you."
He lunged at the demon, and...

[Ice_Eagle]

stabbed the demon with his demon sword, which was in his pocket.

Then Lemmy stole the powers from the demon. "YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!" yelled Lemmy. "I GOT MY POWERS!!!!!"

Suddenly, he saw 189 lemmings with this:

[Lemika]

He started yelling random things about ultimate power and destroyed all one hundred and eighty nine of them. "Your souls will fuel my power! You will aid my dominance of the universe by your deaths!" he shouted.
"Kid, I think you're getting a bit full of yourself."
It was, of course, Xan.
Lemmy turned around. "Where did you come from, Xan? I thought you left a while ago!"
"I came back. Have a beer?" Xan handed one to Lemmy, while pouring another one down his arm hatch.
"Thanks, man. I just killed a demon, and now I've got... powers... more than I had before..." Lemmy stared off into the distance. "I can see it all unfolding before me. The events of the entire world. Ah! The world sucks! I've got to do something about that!"
He tossed the beer can aside and ran off.

[Liebatron]

First, Lemmy restored the 189 lemmings to life, then he stopped all conflicts, and created a world where anything but complete and total agreement and peace were considered wierd. Other than that everyone hated war, there was no conflict. Eventually though, even though lemmy was in fact, a nice person, the demon powers began to take their toll. Lemmy became evil, and he got bored with living in peace al day, so he...

[Lemika]

flew around destroying random establishments and knocking over banks. Eventually, even the peaceful people of the world he had created snapped, and began to create machines of war. They started many bloody wars that would last for centuries.
Considering his work done, Lemmy flew away with the money. He ended up falling through a strange glowing green rift in the universe, and appeared in futuristic looking ship floating above radioactive looking ocean.
"This is great!" Lemmy remarked.

[Chmera]

Some people cheered on the sidelines until they were hit by a nuclear bomb.

[Ice_Eagle]

Then a red bomb started to chase Lemmy.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Lemmy. "Get this thing away from me!!!!!!!"

Then a blue bomb and a yellow bomb chased him. It was scary.

Lemmy used his demon powers, but...

[Chmera]

he died somehow, and was eaten by a lion. Only in Kenya!

[Timballisto]

Then, he woke up on a giant piece of toast.  He had been revived by a force more powerful than himself (even if he DID have demon powers, there were more than enough people/beings/things that were more powerful than him).  So he started to make his way to the edge of the toast.  It was a three day journey, but he was in no trouble.  He just ate the toast along the way.  On the third day...

[Lemika]

He realised that he was having delusions again. The thing that he had been walking along for days had not in fact been a peice of toast; it had been a very strange rock formation. In the midst of a terrible thunderstorm, Lemmy tripped and fell off the rock. He tumbled slowly down the mountain until he hit his head on a parked car, and slumped over, unconscious.

As he opened his eyes, he could dimly hear people talking about him, though not in the most flattering terms.
"Rather bedraggled thing, don't you think?"
"I'm fairly certain it is dead, Mayor."
"Ah, then we should probably dispose of it."
"I'm hungry. Can I eat it?"
Lemmy scrabbled to his feet, glaring at them. "Yo, guys," he said, waving. "I'm Lemmy. If you try to eat me, I'll rip your brains out."
The crowd of men in black suits stared at him, and then ran away screaming. He laughed, stole the car, and drove away in a random direction.

[Liebatron]

Due to his arrogance, he neglected to pick a direction to go that would be logical, thinking that his demon powers would save him if anything befell him. He was right. He went careening off of a cliff, and was thrown headlong off the piece of toast into an unfathomable abyss. This was when Lemmy concluded that it would definitely be a bad  idea to get off of the toast, as it would mean imininent death. The bad side of this realisation was that he was already off of it, and losing distance from it rapidly. He used his demon powers to float back up to the crust, and to retrieve the car. The rain cleared for a moment, and the lightning flashed in synchronization with it, and Lemmy got his first glimpse of the rock formation that he had named "The toast". It was mostly flat, but for a tall, imposing spire in the middle, which by all physical laws, should have toppled over by now, especially with the storm. It's towers and balconies hung off of a structure already listing to an extremity. A waterfall with seemingly no source poured out from on of the balconies to create a swimming pool on a lower one, and leading from that to an aquaduct that twirled around the building in a majestic pattern with little or no structural support. At it's base, a simple, unadorned, unfluted, uncapped pedestal held the entire structure aloft. lemmy identified more things around the spire, the aquaduct leading away from it when it touched ground, and the river leading down under it, and some other things, but the weather didn't allow him sufficient time to analyze it. As Lemmy walked towards it, he noticed a strange felling in his palms. When he looked down, he noticed that they were bleeding, so he bandaged them, but the blood simply ran through the bandages. It ran through more and more as he walked closer to the spire, and lay on the ground behind him. The lightning flashed, and Lemmy saw his palm as it really was. He wasn't bleeding, his hands were perfectly healthy, but they had been leaking an odd, grey liquid. He tried to figure out what it was using his demon powers, but they wouldn't work. Lemmy got an idea, he shoved some of the stuff back in his palm and tried to use his demon powers to lift a pebble by his toe. It was possible but way more difficult than usual. he let the stuff run out of him for awhile, then tried it again. It was impossible.
 

[Lemika]

Desperately, Lemmy ripped up a blanket he found in the back of his car and bound his hands with it, thinking that would help. It didn't seem to do much could, but it offered some strange comfort to Lemmy.
He leaned against the car, stared up at the sky, and sheilded his eyes with one paw to look up at the top of the spire. He thought he could see creatures moving around up there. He determined the the best thing he could possibly do was to get there are quickly as possible, so he hopped back in the car, revved the engine, and drove towards the spire.
He crashed into the wall of the spire and crawled out of the wreckage, looking around. As he dragged himself to his feet he noticed a skeletal form holding one hand out to him. It was wearing a leisure suit and held a toaster in the other hand. "What the heck?" Lemmy asked, taking the hand and pulling himself to his feet.
"I have come to greet you and show you to the central chamber. You are to be inducted into our society."
"Eh?" Lemmy blinked, then shrugged. "Okay, guy. Take me to your leader." The skeleton gave off an impression of glaring at him, and started walking into the tower. Lemmy followed it.

[Timballisto]

Then the tower turned into some crazy checkerboard that repeated itself forever.̆ The skeletons disappeared after saying "Gerf!̆ Why are you Gerf?".̆ So then there was a robot that came out of nowhere.̆ After awhile it stopped in front of Lemmy.̆ Then it incessantly repeated "Please pass the milk please, pass the milk please pass the milk please..."
If Lemmy moved anywhere the robot followed him.̆ Eventually he ran into a place where the checkerboard suddenly became narrow, 3 tiles (3 foot) across.̆ He started to cross it.̆ After a while, he got an idea.̆ He pushed the robot over the edge.

"Please pass the milk please, pass the milk please pass the milk please..."

"Now he's gone.̆ Thank goodness."̆ Lemmy thought.̆ So he sat down to rest.̆ He soon fell asleep.̆ When he woke up there was what looked like an angry egg with a black half circle for a mouth and two black circles for eyes.̆ It was yelling at him.

"?bobikiW gniK morf liah taht ytivarg fo seceip eht gnitae ton uoy era yhW"

An egg popped out of Lemmy and then said

".rengierof a s'eh, yrroS"
".ytivarg eht tae ot mih llet dna ereht ni kcab teg lleW̆ .hO"

So then the egg got back into Lemmy.̆ Suddently he felt like trying to chew on the air, which he did.̆ Eventually he began to feel light and hovery.

"!gnikrow s'tĬ !ytivarg hguone gnitae era ew, dooG"

Lemmy was trying to figure out what the heck was going on, and why there was an egg in him.

[Lemika]

He thought he was brilliant, and whenever an idea came to him, he thought it was a brilliant idea. So with ripping open his stomach and pulling the egg out. He did this, and watched it fall as pain shot through him. "Good idea," he muttered as his vision grew dim. He could see his own blood and guts floating around below him. He couldn't figure why he or anything else was floating, but he didn't have time to ask any questions, because he passed out.

When he awoke, everything had changed again. He was lying sprawled on his back on the pavement, and he heard the clicking as camera crews took pictures of him. He could hear their conversation.
"Terribly sad, really. That's the tenth rodent killed in this manner this month."
"I don't understand it."
"Makes quite a good story, though. Snap more pictures, Jerry."
"Right on, Jack. Right on."
Lemmy groaned, and opened his eyes. Three men in blue suits with cameras were standing around him with doleful expressions on their faces. One of them also had a notepad, and was making notes.
"Look, Jack! It's alive!"
"So it is, Jerry. So it is. Kenny, kill it so we can have our story."
'Kenny' looked solemn and mournful as he raised his camera and smashed it repeatedly over Lemmy's head. Lemmy writhed and screamed, and then lost consciousness again. He vaguely wondered if he would wake up this time.

[Chmera]

Lemmy, thankfully, did wake, albeit not in the best place possible. He had been dropped haphazardly into a cage, in what looked like a laboratory. He groaned. His stomach was bandaged, but he couldn't comfortably move an inch.

[Liebatron]

So he didn't, he moved several feet. Now that he was away from the tower, he noticed his demon powers slowly coming back. When he finally opened his eyes, he realized that---[subliminal message]---I AM A PICKLE---[subliminal message]---he was in a lab or something.
"Its still alive, KENNY! where are ye lad? get ove' here."

Lemmys demon powers prevented him from being killed (or, more particularly, lemmy fell unconscious, and then a thousand fireballs all came and completely oblierated kenny.) Nobody touched Lemmy in the lab for awhile afterwards.

[Lemika]

Lemmy opened his eyes, and groggily realized that he was still in a cage. However, he was certain that he could feel himself moving somehow. He struggled to a sitting position and looked around. He discovered that somebody had loaded his cage onto the back of a very large pick-up truck, and they were now speeding through the countryside. The bars weren't very close together, and Lemmy contemplated wriggling out behind the truck, but he realized that could be hazardous to his health in his current weak state. So he decided to wait and see where the truckers would take him.

He watched as they drove through a strangely desolate town. The only sign of life Lemmy could see was a farmer selling some vegetables by the side of the road. The man had a very empty gaze which creeped Lemmy out, so he turned his attention to the huge skyscraper they were approaching. The building looked somewhat old, and had an advertisement proclaiming "LemMix -- The New Staple of Your Diet!".
Lemmy got a rather cold feeling as they unloaded him from the truck and carried the cage into a huge room and left him there. One of the men started gnawing on a bar of mixed up meat as he laughed at Lemmy. Lemmy's eyes went wide with horror, and he tried to back up as far as he could. His demon-powers didn't seem to be working so well, and he was scared the end was coming. However, he happened to notice a familiar form giving him the thumbs up from the window. It was...

[Liebatron]

Xan, who mouthed the words "start digging" to lemmy. Lemmy couldn't read lips, and sat back with a sigh when Xan disappeared from the window. Would Xan help him? He'd tried to kill lemmy a few times before, so why would he help him now? An explosion rocked the building, and the man chewing on meat grabbed a weapon and ran  to the stairs, then to the window. A couple missiles blew him back away from it, and the blast threw him back down the stairs. "I know those missiles" Lemmy thought. A moment later, a hook had been thrown in through the window, and it caught Lemmy's shirt. Someone outside the window said, "Whatever, close enough!" and yanked on the string, bringing Lemmy ouit of the window, onto a hovering platform next to Xan.  "Xan's ship?" Lemmy thought? Lemmy couldn't remember Xan ever having a ship, but he wasn't one to complain just now. Xan had an expression that combined anxiety, and frustration, "Why didn't you dig? I almost got killed down there waiting for you to come through the ceiling! Hold on, they're not going to make this escape easy." But before Lemmy could find something to hold onto, he was suddenly thrown back, fortunately into an object attached to the platform rather than off of it. As they approached lightspeed, Lemmy asked Xan (who didn't hear anything) how they weren't on fire, or dead or something? Xan never answered, and Lemmy fainted. He awoke for the fourth time in the same week. This obviously wasn't his week. When he woke up, he was in another cage, this one was made of steel, so he couldn't have gotten out of it, although he did scrape the edge off of it to see if he could squeeze through. Xan stepped into the room. It was an ordinary living room, except for the giant telescope opposite him and the computers next to him. Xan, with a smile on his face, said "ready? You know what's happening here?" Lemmy was confused, and he looked to be as well.  Xan explained that the telescope was actually a Lemmy-powered ray-gun, and that was why Xan had saved him. "What?! How are you going to use me as a power source?" Lemmy shouted. "The people in the Matrix didn't seem to have any problem doing that. The only difference is that I'm sticking you in "just dig", the lemming equivalent of heaven or nirvana." Lemmy had no complaint afterwards, and kept saying things like "is it done yet?", "Why does this TAKE so long!?", and "You're sure it isn't Finland?" Just then, he saw yet another familiar, green figure creep in through the window. it snuck up behind Xan and was about to make Xan self destruct when Lemmy saw it and shouted out, "XAN, LOOK BEHIND YOU!"   


               -to be continued by next poster-

[Lemika]

Xan quickly whirled around, pulled out a gun and blew the garg into kingdom come. Then he turned back around, blew the non-existant smoke from his gun, and asked "Why didn't you mention that sooner, kid? Soul's could've been saved."
Lemmy felt his tenuous grasp on reality slipping even further. He backed up and stammered "Well, I--I didn't see it earlier, Xan! You know I would've told you something like that!"
As he was backing up, Lemmy fell against the window and nearly broke it. "Careful, kid. They don't make starship windows like they used to. Now, c'mon -- I was just funning you. You don't have anything to do with my plot of ultimate power -- except that you're going to find this wonderful little gem that grants immortality. See, I want you to do it because you seem to already be immortal. You'd have no motive to gyp me out of my stone."
Xan turned around and began to work the controls like a madman. Lemmy stared at him as they went into hyperspace.

[Liebatron]

"Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic. "




Apparently, Neither I nor anyone else knows how to continue a story that has an actual plot.

[Lemika]

True, but it would it be a 'random' story if it had a plot? It's kinda impossible to keep up a plot with (supposedly) so many different people, anyhow.

[DrLemmingsham]

I'll post, just to keep the story going:

Lemmy was still on Xan's ship. Then, suddenly, he heard a noise. 2 people came in. One was a strange, bald, tall, thin man with one green eye and one pink eye. The other looked like a scientist. "Well, Zaironyeko, let's wake him up," said the scientist. "Okay, Lemmingsham," said the other one. Xan looked at them, but Lemmingsham knocked him out. "Lemmy, this is a dream. We've been trying to wake you up. We've tryed demons, police, giant pieces of toast, skeletons, you name it," Lemmingsham said. He broke the side of the cage, pulled Lemmy out, and started shaking him vigorusly. When that wasn't enough, he pounded Lemmy onto the floor. Lemmy fell asleep, and woke up again in a large mansion. His demon "powers" were gone. Xan was on the floor next to his bed. Lemmy looked around the mansion. It was Lemmingsham's mansion. It was also The Ambridge Mansion. It was also haunted with ghosts and infested with monsters...

[Ice_Eagle]

including Pokemon like Raichu, Gyaradoses Crobat, Gengar, Misdreavus and Arbok.

Raichu ran to Lemmy.

"Who the heck are you?" asked Lemmy. Suddenly, Raichu...

[Lemika]

... disappeared in a puff of greasy black smoke along with all the other monsters. Lemmy turned to Xan. "What's going on, Xan? I don't understand any of this. All I wanted was to see the world outside of Silver City! And now look what's happening to me!" Xan nodded, patting Lemmy on the arm. "I know, kid. It's pretty weird. But look at it this way - you're seeing the world, even the parts nobody else ever knew existed. Well, that, or you've flipped, and all of this is just one big hallucination, including me."
Lemmy didn't want to believe that, so Xan's words served as an anchor to pull him back to his albeit rather tenuous reality. "What now?" he asked.

[Ice_Eagle]

Suddenly, a warning flashed in front of Lemmy and Xan:

Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.

So what did Lemmy do? He...

[Lemika]

He recoiled in horror as the message flashed before his eyes again and again. "Xan!" He cried. "What's happening? What's going on? I don't understand anything!"
"Don't worry about it, kid," Xan said. He got himself a beer, and threw one at Lemmy, who completely failed to catch it. Neither of them appeared to notice as the can hit Lemmy in the face and fell to the floor. "It's just reality creeping in. Or creeping out. It all depends on your perspective, you see."
"NO!" Lemmy shouted. "No, I don't see! I - I want my demon powers back, that's what! I'm going to go out and find that lousy one-piece-suited demon right now, and I'm going to shake him down until he gives me my powers back, by golly!"
And Lemmy stormed off into the night.
"Suit yourself, kid," Xan remarked, pouring both the beers into his arm hatch. "We both know no good will come of it, but if that's how you want to play the game, go for it."

[Dullstar]

And then the deadly warning flashed at him everywhere he looked.

Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you are sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.

Suddenly, something went right.

In a soothing color, the message appeared.

Warning: If you want the red message to die, realize you have your powers back.